Like Touching Strawberry

I'm stupid just because of love. Every day, I wait for him. My time is wasted. I sacrifice the time that some people think is valuable just to see it. I wait for him to come home, I peek out of my class window. After he was seen, then I will go home. Time waited for me for an hour, after which I will go with joy. But before, I went to the parking lot to make sure he was back or not, if not then things I do every day. Not just sacrificing time, but my hand is almost red-red every day, because it's too nervous to see it, so I hurt myself. Friends reminded me of my habit, waiting for her and hurting me. I do not want to hurt myself, but what is the power of everything just happens without me knowing it. I'm not strong if I'm around her, my hands are not red anymore, but it will be a purple bruise. The most make me suffer, when my nails forget to cut, my hand will bleed. Really, if I can stop my habit of hurting myself when I see it, then I'll stop it. But that's not what makes me sick, which makes me sick is he knows I love him very much but he never cares. When my friends call his name he will look in the direction of those who are many, except I "dea". I think he knows all about me different from them. I've experienced the same thing, I can recover because it touches the item "Strawberry" fruit that makes me hurt myself, for some reason it also happens when I see the man I love "vier". Only by touching a part of his body, then I will recover. But I do not know what to do when I'm going to touch it. Trying to walk even closer, making my hands fresh blood even though not much.

Either this is good or even a bad reality. But we were put together in the same class of 12 Ipa 3. It was not a good reality, but a bad reality. We are not friends, he may be disgusted with me. Because I'm strange like this, whatever the name of this disease or maybe this phobia, but this is very disturbing to me. Love is getting bigger for her, but it makes me hurt more. I did not have to wait for an hour, but being in one room with her every day made my hand hurt. I want to move classes, but at school I can not. To change the school was impossible, maybe because of this trivial thing I moved the school, and besides I was 12th grade, will soon face the UN. Not only me who loves vier, but many other students who also love it. They are very lucky to love without hurting themselves, unlike me.

I tried to communicate with him through the line.
"Sorry, I ask for help. May I touch your hand, just once .. "
"Sorry, I can not."
"Please, just once. It's very important to me "
"Once again sorry, i do not wanna hurt"
"I will not hurt you. I just want to touch your hand, please! "
"No, you could hurt me. You yourself hurt yourself, what else? "
"No, I promise I will not hurt you. If I hurt you, you can do anything to me. "
"Sorry"
"Only you can cure me"
"Someone else can heal you"
"No, just you. I beg!!"
"You promise not to hurt me?"
"I promise, really!"
"So tomorrow I wait for you in front of class"
"Thank you very much, but please wait for the other friends to go!"
"Okay"

The day came, the doorbell rang. Vier came out of the classroom, but I did not go straight out, I waited for my other friends out. I just stood there waiting for no one around my class. The sound of a falling pen was heard, so it was a signal from Vier to get me out. I walked with my head bowed, as usual I hurt myself, but I tried to calm down. I sat down beside her. "You can do it." I tried to calm down, I lifted my head. I looked at his face, it made my hands hurt more. He held out his hand, I lifted my hand and slowly I touched his hand. It is true that my hands are clenched, so open when I put the other hand to Vier's hand. Feels nervous, but that does not make me hurt myself anymore. She saw my purple-bruised hand, she rubbed slowly.
"Forgive me, make you like this." He said
"It's not your fault, thank you very much for healing me."
"Equally, is it just me who can cure you?"
"Right, just you .."
She smiled. Vier, he healed me. Just by touching his hand I can heal, just as I touched strawberry as a child.