thorn in the flesh

Why is it taking forever?
Why am I being stagnant?
Why do I have to be keeping repeating the same errors as an alphabetical kid while learning numbers?
Why does failure have to be my everyday partner?
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Why does everything I touch practically ruined?
Every day, I hear songs of incompetent which cripple my thought.
Do this, do that, try this, try that.
Maybe one will work has become my everyday ordains.
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The desire to make a living as overpower the thought of making a difference!
Which mortal will be suitable for overripe okro now that everything seems impossible?
Where do I go from here?
Can death come to my aid?
Will it be the best escape route to the afterlife Joy?
But, is the joy certain?

My inner needs rebirth.
As the thought of living has clouded my judgment of living a life of the saint.
Where do I go from here?