#ULOG- INVESTING ON SOMEONE AND LONGING FOR THEIR WARMTH

Ever had the experience of being depressed because of a certain someone... well I have. The story behind this song is different from the story I'm about to tell. This is an original composition of mine when I was in my 2nd sem, 2nd year of college. It's mainly about my parents' love story but I never thought I would feel and understand the words I wrote, even deeper.

I longed for someone so much that I sinned because of my anxiety. Good thing God gave me a good spanking. It really is stupid to invest in someone so much even though you don't do anything to make her look your way. Having this stored emotion over the past 11 years or so, made me reach my peak before exploding and before leaking out my feelings, and the one that gave me the final blow was her rejecting me. I got depressed that midnight and I walked home in the streets alone (coming from my friend's apartment).

The time needed to travel from my friend's apartment to my home was about 1 hr (if I were to walk). I left my friend's apartment at 12am sharp and I decided to walk, thinking it would be better to dwell in my thoughts and process the situation of her rejecting me. At around 12:30am, I noticed someone following me. I ignored him thinking he was just going somewhere but as we walked even further, slowly they increased in number. The next thing I knew it there were four of them ( I can tell because their shadows were infront of me). I tried slowing down my pace to let them pass but they didn't. When I slowed down my walking pace, they too also slowed down their pace, and when I increase my speed, they too would try to catch up. In those moments I was still a bit dwelling in my thoughts. As I grew even more conscious around them, I noticed one of them was uncomfortably close to me and right then and there I decided to cross the road to get away from them but unfortunately the place was dark, no cars were passing by, and we were the only the people walking on the street that time. When I crossed the road, they too followed and while we were in the middle, I heard some running footsteps and when I looked back... it happened. I got soccer punched on the right side of my forehead by a skinny kid. I backed away and said, "I don't fight". One of them was about to block my escape route but good thing he backed out when he heard I wasn't going to fight back. He called back his other companions who were following me and they retreated... well except for one. He was the biggest in the group and he was walking towards me and telling me to fight him but I still kept saying " I don't fight". So what he did was just give me a weak kick on my inner thigh and ran off.

The moment I got punched in the middle of the road, I forgot everything about "her". The thought of her left my mind and the only thing I can think of was how to get home safe and not in pieces. Funny thing is I realised maybe that was God's way of waking me up from my depression. With His mercy, I was able to get home still intact— complete limbs, no bloody holes, no face damage... just a " bukol" on me forehead, that's all really. Yep, nothing serious.

I listened to this song after that incident and I felt a bit surprised from how I percieve the lyrics now compared to when I first made and heard it. There's clearly a lesson to be learned here. If you weren't able to get it... then poor you. Joke!

Maybe someday you too will understand.

Thanks for listening to my inner thoughts :3

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