World War 2 (With side forgotten quotes) Part 1

“Muller, weapons has to be mandated or we will be castrated” - Hitler

“Take out the water from the fridge so it gets cold” - Stalin

“Is there an ashtray? Or should I put it out on the floor?” - Winston Churchill

“You can expect me to lose to Britain? We defeated Brazil 7-1” Hitler

“They say it’s -50 degrees outside, turn on the AC, I am melting” - Stalin

“It is a simple operation, lads. We’ll kidnap Messi from the spanish league” - Winston Churchill

“My username is: Adolf_999

“I got it, we’ll contact lieutenant Benedict Cumberbatch“

“It is fucking hot in here! Turn on the AC! We want to fight a winter war here”

Amir production presents: World War 2

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. Today we will be talking about world war II. The biggest war in history, a war that ended with America on the world’s thrrone, and they haven’t got up from it since then. A war with so many deaths that if the knight king would have three times it’s army to die in a stupid plot twist.

Germany, after the first world war, was sent to its room and had its PlayStation and phone confiscated. All it had was one Tetris and 100,000 soldiers to play on it. Land was taken, soldiers shrunk in numbers, and it wasn’t allowed to have weapons that would threaten any other country. Imagine the all mighty Germany didn’t have an air force. All that left this cute dude kinda unjustly treated

Here he is hanging with a little girl, probably not Jewish.

Hitler felt that the land that was taken from Germany must return to Germany, the army must be weaponizrd, and Germany must return to being a great power. So the Aryans rule. A pretty Targaryen take

The boobs even looked the same. Good luck getting that image out of your head.

The questins remains; how will he do that? Well, he used a policy popular by gay people in Iraq; act properly on the outside

And keep the cocks at home or you will get ass fucked, which gay people might not mind that, this metaphor is falling apart.

From the outside Hitler was acting nice, and what do you expect from a man with a Charlie Chaplain mustache other than comedy and laughter? Hitler was peaceful guy in front of Europe.

While inside the country Hitler was weaponizing the country. For example In 1920 the General Hans Von Seekt

Here he is, looking like he’s already disappointed in you for not being a doctor two months before you were born.

Anyway, V dog was training the 100,000 soldiers as officers so when Germany can have more soldiers. The officers would be able to lead the newibies easily. Brilliant.

Also Germany wasn’t allowed to have tanks, so he bought tanks and called them tractors

Same thing was happening in the Air Force, civil planes factories were studyingthe designs of war planes waiting for them they could make them. But that time wasn’t easy since Germany is obligated to follow the Versailles agreement they signed post world war 1, also known as; you break it you pay for it.

In 1935; Hitler challenged the world and terminated the agreement. Charline Chaplains looks like he’s about to pull a red wedding (Oh the good old game of thrones), after terminating the agreement, Hitler the creation of the air force: The lots of waffles

Wait what? Ducking autocorrect, I mean the lufftwaffles

Noooo!
The luftwaffe

Yep that one.

And brought back mandatory serving at 20 years old. Even teenagers weren’t allowed to play, they weren’t having birthdays at McDonald’s. He said that we must work for Germany no matter the age
So he created the Hitler’s youth

Ironically he wasn’t as dangerous to those teenagers as Kevin Spacey

Hitler was setting up for the greatest army the workd has seen, or he was having an U-14 team and planning to coach the national team

It wasn’t clear at the time

The organization that taught teenagers military life and trained them how to carry weapons. That played a huge part in increasing the military members to a big number. Much like the north after they lost most of their army, they kept increasing in number without explanation.

In 1937, the German army had 5 million soldiers. You might think “wow, that’s a lot” but no dude those were only the ones in service, the reserved had 8 millions in reserve. So before all of that Germany had 100,000 soldiers, more than the unsullied and dothrakis before they faught the army of the dead and then grew to 5 millions in service and 8 in reserves, slightly less than the dothrakis after they were all “wiped out” (brilliant writing, D&D)

Much like my ex after she dumbed me, Hitler’s self-esteem started to increase and he was dying for the chance to show his strength. He got such chance in 1936 when France was preparing to make a peace treaty with Russia. Hitler said that such agreement would go against the Locarno treaty, the treaty which states that won’t be any hostility between France, Germany, and Belgium.I hear one of saying “What does Russia have to do with all that?” Well, the adorable dolphin (Yes that is what Adolf is short for) doesn’t like Russia, wanna force him to like it? Yeah, much like that corny white 15 years old dude telling stories about how nailed every girl, he was spewing bullshit.

So Hitler re-militarized the Rhineland. That would that yellow area you see below

Germany’s military leaders were against such action, because the re-weaponizing of the military hasn’t finished yet and they were in no shape to face France at the time. But the the person mostly known for his bohemian styled paintings Hitler insisted that they’d go all the way to France border because he saw that whatever diplomatic standce doesn’t mean much if it wasn’t followed by military one. Plus Hitler was certain that France won’t respond for four reasons 1- France can’t going through another war, this is peace time and people just want to make horrible baking goods 2- Hitler had a good relationship with England’s Esward the eight, the king who felt that Germany was kinda treated unfairly in the Versailles treat. Now you might be thinking “isn’t Britain controlled by the government?”, well it’s kinda rude for the country to go into a war when the king fully on board. The king affrimed to Hitler that Britain won’t get involved in such a silly reason as the re-weaponizing of a de-weaponized area. Reason 3- I am horrible at counting ahead 4- Like really horrible

Thus on the 7th of march Hitler ordered the start of the winter exercise. Which by the way was a Saturday because it was the weekend in France, everyone is busy getting shitfaced at Jane’s house and they won’t grt back to their disks until Monday. Wars starting on the weekend is more common than you might thing by the way, the October war between Egypt and Israel also started on the weekend for Israel, why don’t governments put that on mind. Here in Iraq we got screwed by America on a Wednesday, so there is an exception, but then again it was easy because our president was in the FUCKIN SEWAGE!

So Hitler went ahead at the time and France did nothing much like the man who is best known for loving a Jewish predicted.

Government bureaucracy is to blame for world war two. Yeah, go ahead Jean Van Bluh, enjoy your weekend.

Summary of part 1

Always have days off throughout the weak so no country invades you.

Stay tuned for part 2 and 3 (or maybe more considering how horrible I am at counting ahead) along witb the sources