Why I, a “90% Vegetarian”, Shot a Goat In New Zealand

The Hunt

We were scrambling up the ridges, following the path of the goats. My knees were killing me and I could barley keep up with Max, Felix, and our hunting guide. It was still raining and the “paths” we were taking were the goat trails. If you have ever seen a goat run up a hill, you’ll understand why my knees were crying. We had been running around in the rain for the past 3 hours with only one sighting of a goat, which we then lost. It was our fourth hour of literally running up and down the rural New Zealand countryside. We were about to give up when we spotted three goats on the hill across from us.

The Kill

“There! Right there! This is our chance of the day!” our hunting guide exclaimed. We only had one gun, so Max knelt down, got in position, and aimed. BANG. We saw the goat fall and it starting to bleat. However the shot was not deadly and the goat starting running for cover. Quickly Felix knelt down, aimed, and BANG. This shot hit the goat as well, but it was still bleating and obviously alive. It was my turn. I knelt down, aimed, and BANG. The bleating stopped, the movement stopped, and we were all silent. The guys began cheering, and started running to the other hill to grab the goat. I stayed behind with the gun and uncontrollably tears started running down my face. I killed an animal, another sentient being. The huge rush of adrenaline that had been running through my body for the past four hours disappeared and I was left with a gun in my hands and a dead goat ahead of me.

The Situation

We were at Blue Duck Farm on the north island of New Zealand. It was a remote farm, and one of their purposes was to protect the native Blue Duck species of the area. Goats are actually non-native to New Zealand and invasive in the area. They have been endangering the blue duck species by eating their eggs. The hunting was done in the most sustainable, environmentally sensible manner that I could have found – the goats were killed to protect the native blue duck species and keep the population in check since the goats don’t have other predators, the goat is then eaten by the hunters and employees at the farm, and all of the leftovers are given to the dogs of the farm. Every part of the goat is used and honored.

The Reasons

I like to say that I am 90% vegetarian. This means that I normally do not eat meat and do not cook any meat. This is due to environmental reasons, health reasons, and spiritual reasons. However, my body does crave meat every now and then and if I am at a restaurant that offers grass-fed, ethically raised, organic beef I am going to enjoy the hell out of my dinner. (Yes I am from the Bay Area and realize that I lived in a privileged food environment and that this kind of meat is not offered in most places). That being said, when I arrived at Blue Duck Farm and was asked if I wanted to go goat hunting, I figured that if I was going to eat any meat in my life I should at least be okay with and be able to kill my own dinner. Many people after the fact asked me, “How could you do such a thing?? Kill and innocent goat like that!” And if they were not vegetarian I asked them, “Well aren’t you indirectly killing an animal too every time you eat a burger or chicken wings and put a demand for meat on the market?”
That night we slow roasted the goat, and it was delicious. I enjoyed every bite of my dinner and thanked the goat for its meat and for its life. I think that this experience has helped me better honor the little meat that I do eat and has helped maintain my awareness about where my food comes from. Because food does not come from the grocery store! It comes from farms, from the oceans, and from goats that are running around ridge lines in the hills of New Zealand.