LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 02 - post169
I have written of a few of our Cherinians for a purpose. I want you of the future to realise that it was not just the gifts that were important in changing us. All my fellow Cherinians were and are growing because of the love that fills their hearts. I am the proudest leader of any people, for my people have all learnt to love.
1128
Theresa: I do not know how to use this properly. I am glad it corrects my mistakes so I am not seen as foolish or ignorant. Robert said we can all right in here.
I am a slow reader so I do not read from beginning, only from the time he found me. I have seen much to make me think. I see he tricked me with his protector - I am not angry. I see he says he is proud of his people because of love. It makes me sad for then he is not proud of me. I still fear love.
I love my daughter now. I forget who her father was, of how I got her, it does not matter any more. She is also part of me and I will not blame her for what he did. It is sad that she will never love me two. There are two many here who give love and I am cold and cannot show my love so she will love only them, not me. Robert, I am still Ulya, I am not yet that Theresa you want me to be. I know now there is no evil in you and that you love me. I do not understand this. Why? I am not a person to love. Please you must not be foolish and waste your love on me. You have so many people who need your love, give it to them.
I found this written (Claudia translated the Russians words she used) by my sweet Ukrainian girl and I cried. If a normal human reads this (courtesy of ‘A’) they will think I am a crybaby (κλαψιάρης). They cannot know as a Cherinian would, that I do not have a choice. Theresa has not really agreed to be my daughter nor my lover and I have no right to look in her mind. Empathy though has its own way of looking into the hearts of others and does not need to ask for permission. I do not understand why I have failed to reach her, to bring her heart back to life. I have never failed so badly before. If she was a cold cruel person I would understand, but I sense the little girl inside her who is crying to be freed and be allowed to love again.
It is nearly the birthday of Meli and I sense, have a foreboding that this will not be the joyous occasion we would want it to be. I have a feeling the Anadir are going to try to show their devotion to her and it will upset me again. I must try to control myself this time. I better keep Diana by my side as a visual reminder.
I decided to visit our guest on the emerald isle. All the girls decided to come so Theresa decided to stay with her daughter. The only way I could force the issue was by taking her daughter with. “Theresa, would you say that you are fair? Do I deserve my chance at making you love me - even if you don’t want to?”
I could feel her cringe, but she was fair, “I suppose so.”
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“Then I think you owe it to me to come with us to the void. Dance with us love. It will be lovely for us to see your soul” (oh-oh! wrong thing to say, she thinks it is ugly) “but even more important to us, is that you give us a chance to show you ours. I know Wendy has been dying to show you hers. If for nothing else, come to see your daughter. It will make it possible for you to see what a miracle you created.”
Reluctantly she agreed to come, but wanted a full explanation again of what would happen. I explained as fully as I could, reminding her that the protector will see to it that she does not come to any harm. “You have met our alien visitors, though I suspect you must have wondered - after all, you only meet them in human bodies. I think you will be amazed at their beauty.”
I sent everyone and waited with Theresa and Lucy. I called Theresa and she came. She had good self control, but she could not help showing her amazement. Once she had met us all I quickly returned and brought her daughter. Lucy clung to me until she began to recognise everyone. When she found out which was her mother she slipped away from me and dashed into her.
The protector untangled them and Lucy spun around her in a tight joyous orbit. She had tasted my love exchange and now taught her mother. For a time Theresa accepted, but did not reciprocate (ανταποδώσει). When she gave her first exchange kiss, Lucy showed her delight and would not stop exchanging with her mother. This is the first time her love has been returned and she was excited and elated. Slowly Theresa forgot herself and the two of them danced as one and the love flowed between them.
None of us danced. We all remained still, watching, not wanting to distract either of them. When Lucy wearied, she wanted her mother to cuddle her, but Theresa did not know how and was afraid of absorbing her. I sent to her how she should do it and Lucy was folded into her and we all felt her baby contentment.
Now we too were free to dance. I saw to it that our dance was centred around Theresa, first Wendy and then the other girls brushing against her, exchange kissing. I made certain I never touched her.
I decided to hell with our World, if it wants to hang around it is not going to deprive us of the joy of our coming together. I called to the healer and protector and we became one. The Sparklers responded to my flare and the void came alive. I called to my babies to come form the corners and was glad to see Lucy dart out and join them. They dove into me as my girls all joined me. Grimly I hung on, not allowing us to implode and called to Theresa to join us. She hesitated, half out of fear and then she came in. I let go.
When we talk about passion and sex we use the word explode, ‘lust exploded...’ etc. When I say we imploded (Έκρηξη προς τα μέσα) it too has its ecstasy. Part of the ecstasy is the feeling of becoming one. At no other time, not even in our World, is this feeling ever experienced. The other side of the implosion is when we form the World, but this time we found ourselves part of our World.
*Welcome. It has been a long time and ‘I’ see we have grown in number. ‘I’ now understand all the things that happened and puzzled me. ‘I’ am glad to see that Robert has matured.*
*Piss off you pompous arsehole!! Learn to talk to us as equals or else keep your mouth shut.*
* ‘I’ do not have a mouth.*
*Ha! Was that humour? I think you were just being literal (κυριολεκτικός). I asked the girls to find a name for you, but they did not do so. Since you do not have a mouth I hereby name you Arsehole (Μαλάκα). I will change your name the day you stop being one. Come on girls, let’s go visit Ma…sorry, her name is Josephine?*
She was laughing as we arrived. “You may call me Mama. Just you wait Robert until all children start to call you Papa!” Her ample bosom shook with her amusement.
Cherine challenged her. “You think what he said to the ‘I’ was funny!?”
“You cannot imagine how often I have wished to speak to it that way. Robert, you are not impressed by it and you are fighting it. Remember, it is a child. It needs guidance, love - even if it is an Arsehole.”
“I wish it could take on a form so that we could face it, talk to it. This disembodied voice shit and the pompous way it has of talking to us gets on my nerves. I stand corrected though and will try to find a way to communicate with it.”
“Ask it to take on a form.”
1130
“I do not think it will want to. It sees itself as being the sum of all of us and bigger and better, if it had a form it would be just one more of us, having to deal with us on a one to one basis.” I ordered it mentally to take on a form and join us on the isle. Nothing! I shrugged, I had not really expected it to.
When Mama is not being mysterious she is an interesting person to talk with. She told us she plans to return to Earth in a few months as she has her own powers that help her to relieve the suffering of children.
I asked, “Would you be willing to become a Cherinian?”
“Not yet. You need to concentrate on becoming stronger so that you cannot be harmed by those who fear you. Oh yes Cherine, you are already feared. You must not think that only you have powers. There are others and they have watched you grow and they plan to stop you. They would lose their powers over normal humans if you are allowed to become stronger. Your strength is your refusal to be tempted Robert. Power and wealth will be offered in ways you do not imagine. Beware of all that seems to come out of your own sweat and work. Accept and you condemn your people.”
“If they cannot tempt me, will they tempt the others?”
“I do not know. But you are right to try and imagine how they think.”
“I think we only have one thing to fear Mama. If they offer my Robert love, that he will not be able to refuse.”
“I think he will be safe if that is so my child. Love is not what they can offer. But there is one amongst you who does not accept love. Come here child.” Theresa went to her, her cheeks a bright green. “You are the one. If you do not learn to see your own heart, you will become the pawn (πιόνι) of those far more evil than the ones you fear. They will use you and the love Robert and the others have for you, and you will be the instrument of their death. Is that the future you wish for yourself and them?”
“No.” It came out as a whisper. She cried out in anguish. “I can’t help it. I want to love them, but something inside holds me back.”
She soothed her. “Tell me, have you ever had a nightmare where you sense something terrible is chasing you and you try to run, but your legs are heavy, it is as if you are trying to run through mud or something that is slowing you down?”
“Yes.”
“Do not run, you are no longer Ulya, you are Theresa. Turn and confront that which threatens you, that you fear, then only will it lose its power over you.”
I touched her hand gently so that she would look at me. “Theresa, you understood that what she refers to, is that fear which stops you from loving?”
“Yes.”
“Will you allow me into your mind so that I can help you?”
“Please, no.” I felt her refusal weakened us, exposed us to the threat that was coming, but I would not try to force her to accept my help.
I turned to our Mamá Jo. “If we die, will that just be on Earth, will we be able to come here?”
“I do not know. My fear tells me that they may have a way to capture your souls.”
“I hope you are wrong.”
“You have just proven me right. You could have forced your way into her mind and released her from the demons of fear, but you do not.”
“I cannot.”
“Even though all your loved ones, their eternal souls are threatened by her?”
“Even.”
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She turned to my loves. “You do not resent his putting you all in danger for her sake?”
Cherine replied for them, “No Mama, we do not. We would not want our Robert to be any different from what he is.”
“Remember that, for your trust in him will be his only strength. Robert, for what you have done I make you an offer. I will wait here. At your greatest moment of darkness, at the time of despair, call for me. I will come to give what help I can.”
“I cannot, if we lost, you would be destroyed with us.”
“The price I pay is for me to choose.” I did not reply, but her eyes showed, with their sadness, that she understood. Her lives are dedicated to saving and helping children. How can I accept her offer.
I looked at all the glum faces and saw my Cherine was staring back at me. I gave her a grin. “It seems we are never to have a dull moment my loves.”
Cherine asked the question that was on all their minds. “How would you have us stand by you Robert? As adults or children?”
“For my strength, as children; for yourselves I do not know.”
“Then we will be your strength.”
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)15th February, 2019
* posted on Steemit: 15th February, 2019
@nikosnitza
If you wish to have your name added above, I would be honoured.
Αυτή που μίλαγαν ήτανε αυτή η μαύρη η μάντισσα?? λίγο στο τέλος δεν το κατάλαβα γιατί τον ρώτησε η είναι πως θες να είναι δίπλα του σαν παιδιά ή σαν μεγάλοι? Γιατί τον ρώτησε αυτό....