BEASTLY TALES

A STEP TOO FAR

Oh! I got such a really big surprise,
When he looked long and deep, into my eyes.
It was as though he was seeing,
Into my innermost private being.
So said Daisy Dalrymple, the tart,
Who was describing the very first start,
Of her obsession with Oscar Flummox,
That bar room brawler, that really dumb ox!
Now, I don’t want to sound tawdry and shoddy,
But, men mostly look elsewhere at my body!
There it was, his penetrating gaze,
So deep and long, it did amaze,
Could this be something new?
Could it be true love, so long overdue?
I don’t know, and that’s a fact!
But Flummox seemed to know how to act,
For, down on his knees he went,
Addressing me, as though heaven sent.
“Will you marry me, Daisy dear?”
“I’ll be your stalwart, have to fear.”
“You’ll be so happy living with me,”
“I’m oblivious to your past, you do see?”

With that, Daisy, gasping, said,
“Oscar, on what day now, will we be wed?”
Oscar, realizing he’d gone too far, turned and fled.
Oscar had only meant a most short marriage at that.
He’d been talking, at length, through his hat.