BEASTLY TALES - THE LUMPF CHRONICLES (14)
Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
THE LUMPF CHRONICLES (14)
Herr Lumpf came from a family large.
A Lumpf characteristic, a bottom as big as a barge.
He had many siblings, fifteen, in fact.
All well known for bad manners, no tact.
Whenever annoyed, they would grunt and fart.
Their birthright included such an obnoxious art.
Herr Lumpf’s father was a plumber by trade,
But he specialized in pumping out septic tanks he had made.
“Your number two business, zat’s my number vun business.”
This was his business slogan, such frizziness.
Yes, Herr Lumpf’s father had frizzy hair,
And as he pumped out the septic, spillage got everywhere!
He used to laugh, as he combed his hair,
“Vith such moisture I haff a good hair flare.”
Indeed, his hair sparkled and shone,
And grey bits turned brown, instantly gone!
With such a heritage, Herr Lumpf was quite sure,
To have many unusual qualities to lure,
A Fraulein unique to his side,
One who could, Lumpf’s outrages, ignore or abide.
It is, indeed, worth noting,
That disagreeing with Lumpf was VERBOTEN!
IF one did pursue such a negative notion,
One could arouse Herr Lumpf’s reactive emotion.
Herr Lumpf would grunt and belch and fart.
This was Herr Lumpf’s defensive art!
“I vill neffer be happy ven thinks don’t go my vay!”
“I vill neffer be pleased at all, all day!”
AUF WEIDERSEHEN!
