BEASTLY TALES - THE LUMPF CHRONICLES (20)
Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
THE LUMPF CHRONICLES (20)
There was a heat wave, Herr Lumpf was puffing,
While into his mouth sauerkraut he was stuffing.
A heat wave in Germany, so hot it did sizzle.
If only it would rain, even a drizzle!
Herr Lumpf decided to take Frau Lumpf to the Zoologisher Garten,
He just said “Let’s go!” no beg your pardon.
“Bring some Pfefferkuchen, liebe mein,”
“Und a thermos with Kaffee so fine.”
“Ve can haff Kaffee und Kuchen,”
“Und folk can see you are so good looking,”
“Efen though you haff a big schnoz”
“But you are still good looking, why? Because, because”
“Ve might find a place so nice und cool,”
“At zese gartons, cool iz ze rule!”
Frau Lumpf added, “some kinder vould be fine,”
“Just a few kinder, even, perhaps, nine.”
Herr Lumpf grunted and farted.
“I said Nein kinder, so let’s not get started.”
“You alvays haff to bring ze kinder in.”
“Not haffink kinder is not a big sin.”
“Nein, Kinder is za number I vant,”
“Don’t bring it up, ist ein schweinhund!”
“Now, wo ist das auto?” said he, looking for their car,
“Das auto must be near, cannot be far.”
It was so very unseasonably hot,
Said Herr Lumpf, “Don’t like it, no I do not!”
“I need a krankenswester to look after me,”
Frau Lumpf responded, “your krankenswester, your nurse, I vill happily be!”
