BEASTLY TALES

THE SEDAN CHAIR

If you are a taxi driver, and wish you were not there,
Spare a thought for past operators of the Sedan Chair.
An enclosed portable chair supported by poles,
Carried only one passenger, probably with scrolls.
Today it was a Beadle of a university,
He was more than just large, of obesity.
The carriers, both fore and rear,
Looked at their passenger with no little fear.
He squeezed into the passenger cab,
While the bearers made an uncertain grab,
At the poles for supporting this ungainly taxi cab.
First down the massive flight of University steps,
Gravity threatening to defy their braking preps.
The Beadle wiping his sweaty brow,
Calling out, “A little faster now!”
And now they had the vicarious thrill,
Of battling their way up Telegraph Hill.

Sedan Chairs, far from being light as feathers,
At least kept passengers dry in all kinds of weathers.
The porters for this transport mode,
Panting along the cobblestone road,
No doubt would have looked towards their fare
Perhaps the princely sum of a penny for the pair.
In those days a penny could be divided into four
A farthing was the resultant coin
Two of these, a ha’penny, could buy even more.
But for lugging obese people around the town,
A bigger stipend, should really have been handed down.

Now, for a moment, imagine all the fuss,
That would exist, with a Sedan Chair bus.
Perhaps, to carry Ten passengers to town,
With twenty porters, panting with a frown.
Since such a notion was never to be there,
There was no problem about a Conductor to collect the fare!