[Poem - With Audio] Why?

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The pain that comes into our lives,
Does that pain come from You?

Do You light the flames of trial,
Fan the fires You send us through?

Do You heap the hurt upon us,
In Your wisdom try us so?

Is tragedy Your shaping tool?
Please, I have to know!

Shall I thank You for my broken heart,
And my every shattered dream,
Believing that You’re in control,
However it may seem?

Should I glory in my torment,
In affliction should I rise,
And praise You for the buffeting,
My blessing in disguise?

If by active hand or passive sanction,
You’re the cause of good or ill,
Then all our troubles You allow,
And suffering must be Your will.

Supposedly to teach us trust,
And develop in us holy grace,
Scourged by tribulations’ whip,
To bend our knees and seek your face!

Yes, the crippling pain is hard and sharp,
But filled with promises so sweet,
That sends me reeling from the shock,
But lands me squarely at Your feet!

Is this truly what You want from me,
That in my darkest devastation,
I’d trust in You that caused it all,
And shower You with adoration?

Oh how wayward such a one as I,
Who somehow cannot see,
How Love can kill and maim, destroy—
Please, how can this be?

I’d somehow thought that all the grief,
And hurt this world contains,
Were just the fruits of human folly;
Our deep but self-inflicted pains.

Or cruel twists of happenstance,
Which often catch us unsuspecting,
Or anything but that it was Your hand initiating!

I’m afraid to trust in You,
Who for wisdom's reasons will,
Afflict me with a special ‘blessing,’
Deliver me a 'boon' of ill…

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Note: I've been encouraged by some of the feedback I've gotten, so my plan is to continue re-posting poems from the last several months, but now including an audio clip going forward. I'll also be sprinkling in some new (or at least previously unpublished) poems here and there.