A time to be broken or a time to be made?
The mind is a powerful place and what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way.
~NF
She knows I'm sitting on a wooden chair, alone.
It's lunch break. It's lunch break, she's telling me. Like I care.
She doesn't know what it feels like to be useful for nothing. You know I've been told that having this hair, this skin tone, this open bite, these siblings, the house I live in, the tribe I come from, this height and this thing above my throat that's confirming all these things; is my problem.
My hands leave my face for a while and I look at her again. She's looking at me, pointing a sandwich. She thinks I'm interested in that sandwich right now? I mean, can't she see the tears on my face?
Forget about this young lady right now. She has everything I don't have. And prolly doesn't worry about a thing.
I don't even know why I'm here right now. Why do I even exist, when I'm good for nothing?! I can't do anything right. My grades. My coding lessons. My social anxiety. Nothing ever works!
I see why what Mett said is true. All my efforts would never do anything. I just don't have talent. I'm not the best, you know.
She sits beside me, spreading her arms across my shoulders. What does she want now? Leave me alone, I tell her.
She shows me a picture, plugs in some earphones and puts them in my ears. It's NF. I close my heavy eyes as I listen.
Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great
You'll never be great, not because you're not, but the hate
Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith.
Is this what those TED talks have been about? Is this what believing in yourself means? I thought I had to pray to myself.
Does that mean I can do this? I look at her now smiling face and she confirms it.
I have the strength?
My efforts count?
I..matter?
The answer is the same. And now I know my worth. Scratch that. It sounds like those motivational speakers that never helped.
My worth's not in the things I have or don't have.
It's in how I respond to my failures.
Failures happen. And they're constant. It's not you who's the problem, what matters is how you respond to it.
Your bitter experiences have the power to make or break you. Choosing to be made, says a lot about who you are.
The process is difficult and you may be refracted in your journey but in the end, you'll diffract like white light and show the world your beautiful colours.
I hug her tighter. But I should probably let her go before Brandon walks in.
Have a wonderful Christmas!🎄❤️
@henryclive @deelyt @alexanderkass
see contest post here