The Pokemon Freak - My Son @bxlphabet and PTSD

If you ask anyone who knows Caleb what he cares about most, the immediate answer will be Pokemon.This was one of his favorite shirts.

I took this photo of Caleb while we were waiting for food in one of our favorite Mexican Restaurants down in San Ysidro California. This is right near the border with Mexico and might as well be there. The food is delicious, healthy, homemade, and cheap in the smaller places. We ate very well when we were there.

This restaurant is near the last place I lived before moving to Thailand in 2016, and this is one of my last photos I have of my son.

He looks exactly like he is. Thinking in his head, and not caring that I'm taking pictures again. If I ask him to look up and smile, I will get this instead.

"The Caleb Look"

This photo is called "Doubtful Caleb" on my art site. He's one of the few people I can get up close to like this. "Here's my face, Mom. Go ahead."

I've decided to use my son's blog while he is not here to talk about health, food, exercise, and most especially ptsd. Last night I uploaded a video to @dtube about ptsd and spammed up fb with it. This morning I have a comment on the video post here on steemit and all kinds of hits for it on fb.

My son is not the only person suffering with this disease. He is part of an epidemic. There is almost no help for it. When I post, I am found, becuase many people are seaching for help.

When I first faced up to the fact that my obesity caused my son's ptsd, I joined a lot of support groups and found the same story over and over again.

PTSD is an invisible disease for the most part. How would you know a person was broken with it? You won't - unless you see them at a bad time when they can't hide it from you. The rest of the days, they just hold on trying to be normal, and trying to function in a place where people tell them to "Get over it."

When my son looks at me - he flashes back to times I was sick and not able to get off the ground, or going off in the ambulance and leaving him alone, or screaming in pool of blood.

These events were so traumatic for me, that I do not even remember them. Sometimes, I was unconscious anyway. For my son, these are his clearest childhood memories. He lives in fear of them happening again.

Right before I started losing weight, my son's closest friends began to die in various tragic and horrifc ways. He is 25 and at least 15 of the kids he grew up with are already gone. I have a list on my hard drive, since I cant't remember who died when anymore.

These were some of "my kids" that hung out in the our house. For a while the deaths were coming fast and the funerals would have one less kid from the neighborhood. I feel very traumatized by their deaths but my son feels it more than me.

When I first lost weight, my new found physical abilites were a thrill. I could jump, and climb stairs, and sand dunes, and cliffs. But when I did those things out with Caleb, he would say, "Be careful, Mom. Please get down from there. Dont hurt yourself." And I could see his anxiety, but I laughed it off.

Why did I not see his fear was real? I saw it. I was surprised by it. I thought he should "get over it." but he becomes the worried little kid - responsible for getting his mommy up off the ground.

I have a Pinterest board about ptsd with resources about treating it naturally. The board is a mess since I have not been working on it lately, but I will.

Here is the header for my board, and what I believe about the treatment options for ptsd sufferers. I hope this ideas help you and your loved ones if you have this too.

Here is one of the pins from this board. CBT is "Cognitive Behavior Therapy." In other words, face your fears and learn strategies to deal with them.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a controversial treatment that also forces you to go through the memories and deal with them. I have heard of success with it, but it is not easy.

Killing the memories with drugs or alcohol is sometimes all people can do. It's cheaper and has much easier access that any other treatement route. This is the sad state we are in, and why I am trying to learn and do better to help my son.

He has avoided the addictive pills because I used to take handfuls of them when I was obese. He does not like doctors, and will not go for treatment by them. Many others are not so lucky and now have to deal with addiction on top of the pstd.

Is it easy to treat an injury? Sometimes - but don't re-injure it again.

~ Sharon @fitinfun