Beams of Love

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Tonight I went on a much needed hike and Pachamama blessed me with a much needed display of beauty.

Last week was suprisingly stressful and I am left entirely exhausted. I actually took a nap today, which I never EVER do.

I made some big choices this past week, life altering, mind blowing, history shaping choices.... Unfortunately, the process of getting there was emotionally taxing.

I allowed myself to sink into behaviors that we're not good for my health. Arguing, sobbing in dispare, consumed with hot red anger. I felt my inflammation creeping higher and higher and yet I continued down this dark emotional path (knowing better!).

Once I remembered I am NOT a victim, and that my well being is MY responsibility, I decided to make some radical choices that would remove the source(s) of stress in my life.

You see, I was clinging to some things due to fear. Toxic business relationships I thought I needed to survive. Even though I spent the past year removing such relationships from my life, a few had stuck to me like an invisible glue I didn't even notice were there....

So yes, I exhausted myself fighting for what I felt was mine (ethically, morally, legally, etc..), and I exerted so much energy that I made myself physically unwell..... But when I look back at last week I am filled with gratitude.

Without the erruptiveness of last week (full moon, eclipse anyone?), I would not have realized how desperately I was clinging or how badly I needed to surrender and release.

These emotions are needed, they teach us, they guide us, and I definitely used them to create huge transitions in my life..

Thank you, Pachama, for the reminder that life is GOOD and BEAUTIFUL.

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