What is the Ego?

All human beings have a sense of who they are, which for the most part is loosely defined by memories. But is this a true definition? It is a scary concept, but what if I told you that your personality, everything from your likes and dislikes, your political beliefs, your sense of fashion, your musical tastes to even your name do not define who you truly are.

After all, a lot of what ‘defines’ you has mostly been made up – your name was chosen by your mother and father, your taste for food is likely based a lot on what you were fed as a child. Your peers, social circles, online community and news have all shaped your particular views.

Most of us accept that this is simply the truth. However, there are those who choose to take a different view. That is, that this ‘identity’ is simply a mental construct of memories that we believe to be ourselves, but is actually nothing more than thoughts in our head.

In other words, the ego is simply a concept of who we are, not truly who we are. It is what we call our ‘mind’, our ‘conscience’ or the ‘voice in our head’. When you are praised, your ego is satisfied and when you are criticised, your ego is offended.

So if we aren’t who we think we are, then who are we?

Good question. I wish I could tell you, but the fact is I don’t even know who I am. Am I bothered about that? Not at all. If you keep looking for answers to this question, you may eventually drive yourself to insanity. The truth is, it really isn’t that important unless you derive your sense of self from it.

If the ego is a mental delusion that all humans have, why does it exist?

It exists simply, because it has been key to our survival throughout human history. Without the ego, we would not strive to succeed, to thrive and ultimately get where we are today. So the ego, is not necessarily a bad thing, although not being aware of it can be, especially for our mental health.

Why is the ego potentially bad for mental health?

If you identify with your mind (or ego), you will succumb to anything which can potentially harm it. For example, if part of your ego is to be very well dressed, and someone tells you that your clothes are shabby, then immediately your ego suffers a blow. This could cause you to doubt your identity, your purpose and ultimately your existence. That is, if you choose to identify with it.

On the other hand, realising that you are not your mind and that your clothes aren’t ‘you’ either, this attack would do little to offend you as your identity goes much deeper than what you wear. This is what is meant by having high self-esteem, rather than being confident in who you are. Confidence is built on the ego, where as self-esteem comes from beyond the mind.

The confident well-dressed ego, would brush off the comment by someone of lower status, only to be knocked down by the same comment from one of their peers. The truly self-esteemed individual would not be bothered by either.

How do I disidentify from my mind?

There are several techniques you can use to disidentify with your mind. One is to observe your mind. Try to listen to the voice in your head as often as you can. Don’t judge whatever thoughts, voices and images appear in your head. Just remain impartial and accept your mental state as it is. Once you are aware of it, the thoughts that you have can no longer impact you emotionally.

Another technique is to become aware of the present moment. Listen and feel all you can sense inside as well as outside. You can not be focused on the present and think at the same time. Often when you are consumed in thought, the only way to escape, is to ‘surrender’ to the present moment.

What is it like to disidentify from the mind?

Disidentifying from your mind can feel a bit like when Neo takes the red pill in ‘The Matrix’. You wake up from being in a continuous daydream and become extremely aware of everything. You become aware of your environment, your inner body, your outer senses and the thoughts in your mind.

This is especially evident when you are in an emotional state and are able to suddenly observe your emotions and thoughts in an impartial sense. It’s like when somebody says “snap out of it!”

The longer you stay in this state, the more you will feel a sense of inner peace.

What can we identify with if not our personal memories?

You can identify purely with your sense of being. It’s impossible to describe what ‘being’ is, but you can feel your own being and existence. Listening to your own breath, your heart and feeling your body grounds you in your awareness of being. Your ego may be made up, but your state of being is real. By identifying with this true state, you can observe your ego from the perspective of your true self. Physically, it feels like your mind is somewhere at the top of your head, but your centre of being is lower down in between your head and torso.

What are the benefits of presence?

There are huge benefits to being aware of the ego and staying present. You are able to channel your awareness a lot better, be more productive, more creative and more rational. You also become more open-minded, less judgemental and have greater appreciation for nature and all things as they are. Time slows down and you experience a richness in all things.

Do I need to be like this all the time?

No. It is incredibly difficult to maintain this state, unless you are very determined. Your ego won’t go away either, it will always be with you. The important thing is to be aware of it, and keep it in check. If anything ever gets to you too much, just remember that you are not your mind. Emotions are natural and healthy, but constant doubts and negative thoughts are not.

This is a sort of awakening, once you know it properly, you won’t forget it. The more you enter this world, the easier your life will be. There is no obligation to be present, it is a choice.

If you are skeptical about this, let me tell you one last thing.

This is very much an open concept. The point is not to prove anything, but to build a mental framework to help you deal with your thoughts. It is intuitive, and simply a matter of perspective and choice.