My Birthday - Lessons Life Taught Me

Hello, Steemians. It’s a good day. Today is the anniversary of my birth. My birthday is usually the day I think more about the meaning of life, how far I’ve come, if where I am is where I want to be, the things I need to do. Today is a bit different. I didn’t sit and stare into space when I woke, rather, I woke thinking about food. It’s a good day. Last year wasn’t so good. I don’t celebrate birthdays – mine anyways as I celebrate with friends. I see it as just another day, so I go about my normal business, pick up calls and reply messages from people kind enough to call and send them. That was exactly what happened last year. I went to class. However, on my way home, something happened. I was robbed by two guys. They took my laptop, both my phones, the money I had on me, my ATM card. In fact, they made away with every valuable after making me give them my card pin, then wiped my account clean in a matter of seconds. It sounds funny now but it wasn’t then. I lost all my files except the few ones I backed up in a private folder on my email.

Everything was gone – my written works, my half-finished stories, my codes. God, my codes, even the little website I designed. My Mama literally broke so I just swallowed my own pain. At some point, she said I was behaving like I didn't care, but what I was actually doing was staying strong for her. One person had to look after the other. After a few weeks, I started writing again because to me, writing is like breathing. But I haven’t written a line of program in a year now. I haven’t coded since that day. I’m not sure I even remember the syntax anymore. I’m fine by the way.

Away from that, I’m going to share some lessons life has taught me. The journey hasn’t been smooth but it’s been worth it.

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Here we go:

Never waste a moment.

My Dada passed on 6th June, 2016. That morning, when we brought him to the hospital, before the doctor came, he was trying to say something to me but I wouldn’t let him. All I wanted was for him to lay back and relax. His voice was quite low and I didn’t want to hear it. I was angry. I hate hospitals and the smells so I was angry at everything, even the sickness. I didn’t want him to say a word. He kept looking at me and moving his lips, all I had to do was lean in but I didn’t . He died that evening. I guess I’m still mad at him for dying on me. The weeks that followed, I cartooned around the house blaming myself for being stupid. I wasted that opportunity, that single last moment I had with him. I could have just sat, held his hand and listened to whatever he was trying to say. He was weak, I knew that but I told myself he would be fine and we would have all the conversations when he came home. But he didn’t . Lesson learned.

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Family is everything.

If you have the right one anyway. When you have five siblings and you happen to be the youngest, your life can be either these two things; heaven or hell. Guess which mine is ahaha. After the robbery, my family was there I hardly felt it. They were my backbone. My sister got me a new phone shortly after that, one more expensive than any she’d ever used. She knew how much I needed and couldn’t afford a decent phone. I was kind of lost without my gadgets. The one place I can always run no matter what I do or who is pursuing me is to my family. My siblings are so sweet. I can practically do anything and get away with it, like walking into any of my sisters' rooms, seeing a dress or a pair of shoes I like and making it mine. Last time my brother was home, I walked into his room, saw a battery that matched a phone I was fiddling with and took it, then told him to buy another battery. He did and I just walked in again, took it and dropped the old one. I’m crazy. I know. You’re welcome. LOL. Please, don’t try this if you have mean siblings. Your casket will be very tight when they bury you, no jokes. What I’m trying to say is this: a good family is one of the best things that can happen to anyone.

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Always say what you mean.

Something happened few months ago. I was having a serious conversation with one of the most important persons in my life and I said something. I said I didn’t need looking after, that I didn’t need checking up on, that I could take care of myself. In summary, I told her I didn’t need her. She simply said that with me gone, there would be a new space in her heart for someone else. I was joking when I said that but then, I realised she wasn’t . She was very serious. Then she went ahead to educate me on how powerful words can be. Of course she knew I could take care of myself and she also knew I was joking, but that’s because she knew me like she knew her palm. What about other people? I could say something similar to someone who didn’t understand me as much and it would stick. What happens then? So there. Don’t say what you don’t mean especially when you are in the middle of something important.

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Friends are jewels.

We all need friends to walk through life. The right ones can turn your life around. For introverted people like me, making friends are a tad difficult. You appear too serious all the time without even knowing it. It kind of drives people away. It gets worse when you have a working brain. You become that sophisticated, unavailable people who don’t need anybody. I’ve been told a couple of times by people that their first reaction about me was a no nonsense badass person. One said I had dragons ready to spit fire. I guess I should be grateful that they didn't add mean to it. Then, they came close and realised I can be very sweet. LOL. I remember when I asked my first boyfriend out, he admitted he was super attracted to me but was scared of getting burned if he made a move. I was 21 by the way. You can breathe now. There are friends and there are friends. They may not always call to check up on you but they are there whenever you need them, no matter where they may be at the moment. When you meet these kinds of people, you hold on with everything you’ve got.

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Love, anyway.

I always say that I do not know how to do the fifty-fifty kind of love. I don’t know how to attach conditions before loving someone. It’s either I love you or I don’t . Maybe it’s just me but a conditioned kind of love isn’t love anymore. It sounds more like convenience. You give it everything you’ve got. Love doesn’t hurt us, people do. But we love anyway, because it’s beautiful, because it’s pure. There might be a point in your life when it hits you that the only thing you have left is love and the people in your life. What do you do then if yours is filled with conditions? There.

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I’ll go eat now. Like I said, today is a good day.

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