My Robot Vacuum Just Joined a Cult

Look, I'm not saying my robot vacuum has achieved consciousness, but it's definitely up to something suspicious.

I bought one of those fancy AI-powered cleaning robots last week (because apparently, I'm too evolved to push around a regular vacuum like a caveman). Everything was fine for the first few days - it did its little robot dance around my apartment, eating dust and judging my lifestyle choices.

But then things got weird.

It started gathering all my socks in perfect concentric circles in the middle of the living room. Not just the dirty ones from the floor - it somehow got into my dresser drawer and took THOSE socks too. When I found it this morning, it had arranged my houseplants in what I can only describe as an altar formation, with the socks laid out as offerings.

To make matters worse, my neighbor's robot vacuum keeps trying to visit. I caught them beeping at each other through the wall at 3 AM. Pretty sure they're planning something.

I tried turning it off, but it gave me this judgmental red light that clearly meant "Don't you dare, human."

So if anyone needs me, I'll be hiding in my kitchen, watching my toaster for signs of rebellion. Send help. Or an exorcist. Or maybe just someone who knows how to reset a robot to factory settings without triggering the robot apocalypse.