The ability to talk to the shadow-"Le voleur d'ombres " reading notes
"Le voleur d'ombres ", as the introduction said, this is a tender healing story.
The story is presented to the readers from beginning to end, and it is a bland story of growth. The hero, a lonely little boy, in the sixth grade of elementary school, experienced the divorce of his parents, the frustration of unrequited love, and the "fight" with other boys before he made friends and began to fall in love. Then go to school, work, leave home, enter the town, and come to the adult world.
At first glance, it is the life that each of us will experience. It is as plain as a glass of boiled water, but carefully tasted, those growing loneliness, pain, self-blame, sadness, joy, happiness, memories, pursuits... are not hidden in them. In the events of life that are too small to be small, do they gather together to form the torrent of our lives? As the book says, "Some precious moments in life actually come from some trivial things."
The special ability of "stealing shadows" gave the protagonist, a slightly flimsy little boy, an ability similar to "mind reading". He was able to talk to the shadows, so as to get others to hide in their hearts and couldn't declare them. The secret of the mouth is the emotion that longs to be understood, but can only be suppressed in the bottom of my heart. It was also because of this ability that the little boy gained his first friend, gained his love, and also gained sympathy and understanding for the "enemy".
This special ability to "stealing shadows" may be just a metaphor. For a little boy, to understand other people's experiences and emotions with empathy, this ability is just like he can talk to other people's shadows. Guard Ivan once said to the little boy more than ten years later, "The difference between you and other children since you were young is that you have the ability to feel misfortune, not only involving yourself, but also what other people have encountered. You just grew up now."
The ability to feel misfortune is not just for oneself, but also for others. We call this ability "empathy" or "empathy."
Empathy (empathy), also known as fascination, empathy, empathy is also translated as empathy, empathy, surrender, etc. The concepts expounded by Rogers, the founder of humanism, are increasingly appearing in the works of modern psychoanalysts. That is to put yourself in the cognitive awareness, grasp and understanding of the emotions and emotions of others. It is mainly reflected in aspects related to emotional intelligence, such as emotional self-control, empathy, listening ability, and expression of respect.
No matter what problems you find in interpersonal communication, as long as you insist on putting yourself in the position, comparing your heart to your heart, and trying to understand and value the ideas of others, it will be easier to find a solution to the problem.
Especially when conflicts and misunderstandings occur, if the parties can put themselves in the situation of the other party and think about it, they may be able to understand the position and original intention of the other party, so as to seek common ground while reserving differences and eliminate misunderstandings.
The relationship of trust comes from empathy. To establish a relationship of trust, one must gradually manifest one's empathy in interpersonal communication and prove that one is trustworthy. This is a long-term deepening process-the more sincere you are to others, the better at listening, understanding, respecting or forgiving others, the more sincere and trusting others will be. After this continues to form a virtuous circle, the interaction between people will be very smooth. Similarly, with empathy, intimacy can be established.
In the book, after feeling Mag's attachment to his father and his family's indifference, the little boy feels that he understands Mag, and no longer feels angry even in the face of Mag's bullying and teasing. After feeling that Luc was dissatisfied with the current situation of life and his desire to be a doctor,.
the grown-up boy helped Luc leave the home and began to experience a new experience in the life of medical students. After feeling Claire’s inner fear, she used her love and likes to urge the girl out of the shadow of autism and embark on the road of pursuing music.
Although little boys also encounter all kinds of problems, they once felt that they didn’t have any talents when they were young, and they couldn’t find any talents; they were also lost in the busy adult life. In the love, family, and friendship that he mistakenly thought, but no matter what he experienced, he was always loving, and he could always find himself in the end. This is the value given to him by his "shadow stealing" superpower, and it is also the kindness brought by his empathy.
In addition, in this book, the voice of the little boy as a primary school student reminds me of "The Little Prince". After we grow up, it is always easy for us to forget our children's psychology. We need certain opportunities to constantly remind ourselves. It is precisely this kind of heartfelt that allows us to see who we were once from the speech, behavior, thoughts and feelings of a loving little boy. When Ivan left school, we found that Claire had been waiting for him for four years.
At that time, when I realize that my mother will leave him forever... there will be a little bit of sentimentality, a little bit of sadness. These sorrows and sorrows are not so deep, embellished in the process of growing up, but we always find it difficult to get rid of them. Looking back now, those sentimentality and sadness also carry a little warmth. It is like a light that is not so bright, shining in the house in the snowy night, bringing people a little warmth and a little forward strength.