Dear Diary: It Feels Nice Having To Enjoy Past Midnight Peace But My Ringing Ear Bothers Me

My village sleeps at night unlike New York where they say it doesn't sleep. It is good that my village sleeps so that I can finally enjoy peace and silence. But I am bothered by my ringing ear and it is maddening which makes me to prefer a non absolute silence because having a ringing ear is very torturous if you can just imagine.

I guess that this is just one of the complications that I have to suffer because of my long-term situation of being a dialysis patient. Lots of toxins already that accumulated in my body that could not be taken off by dialysis and the fact that I have a considerable issue of bone degeneration would really show up in my ear as well.

Anyway I think I will never enjoy the quiet times again because of my ear issue. Lots of things had changed lately in my body so I just hope that I can cope because of the gravity of my health situation it can be just better for me to die than to pursue my goals.

It is still nice to live nonetheless especially if your are in a moment that you are enjoying life but if you are in my situation maybe or most probably most people will choose to end it all than to be so mad in trying to continue to live even though the game is already rigged against you.

Well my hope again is for my hearing not to get worse but I am quite certain that it will not or at least not entirely go away because I am taking my medicine for Leontiasis which is my Parathyroid medicine because it does worked in improving my pain issues and somewhat had reversed a bit the progression of my facial bone enlargement so I think anymore bone degeneration might get halted if not slowed down. May God help me with all these things that ails me.