Deadspace goes to the thrift store: Mall Ninja Anime Intellectuals, Unite!

Well, it's been a literal eternity since I last posted, so I figured I should rise out of my coffin like Dracula looking for his fleshlight and probably put a post together. So, today for you god damn turbo virgins I have some absolutely powerful items I found while looking around at the local thrift store. Full disclaimer now, just because I'm about to make your nipples hard doesn't mean you have to show me your tiddies and throw your bitcoin at me, people. Especially in front of your significant others. Now, onto the holy grail's of thrifting. 

Lets start with one of the most impressive, masculine filled items to ever be dumped at a thrift store in the country. After entering the store, I made my way over to their DVD/Game section and found this absolute legends of a DVD, a Cold Steel demonstration video, baby. Move over, Forged in Fire, there's a new alpha chad on the block. Have you ever just wanted to watch a pudgy middle aged man cut through all kinds of shit? Well, you're in for a fucking treat. Because, this DVD is probably just nothing but old men molesting knives for 38 minutes non stop. 

I personally did not go in for this and buy it, because this probably lacks big dick energy. As is tradition with Cold Steel, since anything I've seen from them is pure boomer shit where I expect the people being filmed will fall asleep at any moment. I wouldn't even piss on this unless it showed them cutting through wasp nests, barrels of whiskey with a flaming sword, or at the very least making a sword out of The Great American Challenge that they perform fellatio on repeatedly. 

After I slid that wonderful little item back into the DVD section, I decided to browse around a bit more to see if there was anything else I might have missed. Truly, I must be blind to have almost overlooked this next piece of media. I would assume unless you're a true anime connoisseur that you probably won't know too much about this. But, don't worry, not everyone can be a big dicked intellectual with several waifu's. Behold, the legendary anime that has influenced generations upon generations: Beyblades, baby. Let that shit rip right into your dickhole. 

I really considered getting this, but, alas, I'm broke as fuck so I can't squander my funds on random epic tier shit like this. Perhaps if it was god tier, say, like Yu-Gi-Oh in terms of anime quality, I would have picked it up. Instead, it will probably go to some 10 year old whose grandma thought little Timmy Billy would love this. Which will then infest the childs mind with resentment towards his grandma, manifesting itself into elder abuse once he's a teenager. Quite the classic case when Beyblade's involved...

Anyways, after putting that back I peaked at their used video game section for a bit and found quite possibly the most impressive used game you could possibly find at any store in the US. You see, my eyes were practically assaulted with what I can only say is the equivalent of having g-fuel injected directly into your brain stem. Behold, epic gaymerz. I give you the Barney the Dinosaur Hide and Seek video game for Sega Genesis. I can only imagine how many children have probably been diddled by their creepy neighbor while this game was on the TV to distract them. This is certainly one of the most cursed games in existence, therefore I had no choice but to put it back since I don't make "Contacting Barney at 3AM CURSED VIDEO GONE WRONG" challenges. After this, I gave up on the media section and continued on with little hope of finding anything else cool. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong! 

Fuck yeah, baby. The collectible figure to end all collectible figures. No where can you find something as testosterone filled as this beautiful piece. Move over, Funko Pops, watch out figures of anime girls that people masturbate on and post online, no one can handle the pure majesty of the Crazy Cat Lady figure with hypoallergenic features included! I have no idea who donated this or why, but my fiancee and I sure as fuck weren't going to leave this here for some furry to pick up and go to town on the cat figures like some god damn degenerate redditor. 

Anyways, hope you enjoyed my findings of the local thrift shop. Been meaning to post this for awhile, but I've been basically half dead for the past several weeks. Got some other things in mind for posting, though it might be a bit. So, until next time, take it sleazy you fucking whores.