Living a Passionate Life is Beautiful... but Don't Confuse CHAOS with Passion!
This post is partly inspired by a couple of recent posts by @jaynie on the topic of passion and how it works in our lives. In her "Happy Hippie Quotes" post a few days she touched on passion and then in "Do it with Passion or Not at ALL!" the topic was explored a bit more in depth.
Both of these posts were timely and made me pause for a moment to think more about the many flavors of passion we experience.
TRUE Passion is a Rarity
Summer thistle
The thing that keeps echoing in my mind is that true passion is actually sort of rare... we talk about living "passionate lives," but what does that really mean?
We also talk about something "being our passion," be that painting, music, cooking or even watching grass grow... but again, what does that mean?
Of course, most of us are familiar with passion as it relates to love and our beloved, but even that can be a bit ambiguous.
I look back over my life and the myriad people who have come and go, and I realize that a lot of people tend to mislabel all sorts of other things as "passion."
It LOOKS Like Passion, but...
Red autumn leaves
Of course, there infatuation, which is a lot like passion... except it's more likely driven by lust than the true underlying passion. It flares up... and then it burns out. "Where did the passion go?" people wonder... not realizing that passion wasn't actually what they were experiencing.
But that wasn't really my motivation for putting some words down.
What I was more reminded of was the numerous people I've met who were fond of misusing the word "passion" as a way to justify their utterly chaotic lives.
Don't misunderstand-- I'm not trying to be mean here, nor to pick on anyone... but the truth is that most of life's "chaosmongers" should not be using the word "passion" to rationalize their behavior.
I just saw an example the other day... a friend of my neighbor's crashed and slept the day away on her office floor, following the 35th breakup with her boyfriend.
"She's a very passionate person!" my neighbor said, by way of explanation.
You've probably met the type:
They just got evicted from their apartment for the 3rd time, haven't held a job for longer than 4 months in their entire lives, have 47 art projects going, are balancing a bizarre love triangle between their abusive ex and an aloof married musician and just quit their last job to go to Burning Man because their boss "unreasonably" asked them to show up for work on time... and then stayed on in Reno for a three week bender... and when questioned about their choices... defend themselves with the words "You just don't understand-- I am a very PASSIONATE person!"
Beware of what's through Door Number One!
No so fast, young grasshopper!
If you were 23, I might be more generous in my judgment... but you're actually approaching 50!
Quite honestly, I think know you're simply a very chaotic (and possibly immature) person, trying to persuade not only yourself but also others that your pervasive swarm of random and often toxic behaviors can be described as passion.
I'm sorry. I'm not buying it.
My friend Christina is a swarm of chaos. She's constantly crashing on her friends' couch because of one traumatic experience after another with assorted "boyfriends," and pretty much anyone within a 500-yard radius can look at them and conclude "That will end badly."
Unfortunately, Chris is only attracted to "bruiser" type guys from motorcycle gangs and drugged out musicians because they live "exciting and free" lives.
In her words "I like passionate lives," but to most observers, she seems to have a fondness for self-destructing and going down in flames and a great fear of growing up.
Passion and Consciousness
Of course, these are fairly extreme examples. Some might even say "What's the problem? As long as they aren't HURTING anyone..."
A rare white lavender
And therein lies part of the problem... "toxic" and/or mislabeled passion tends to not have even the slightest awareness of its impact on its surroundings. And yet, there's a swath of people having to step in to "clean up the mess" in various capacities... from being periodic suicide counselors to providing emergency loans for bus tickets home, from places unknown.
True passion is also conscious and aware. Calling yourself "passionate" does not give you a free pass to do whatever you want, without consequences.
True passion is a beautiful thing that makes our lives richer and more shiny... and we are energized by it. Chaos simply leaves us drained at the end of the experience.
How about YOU? Have you known any "passionate" people who were actually more chaos mongers than anything? Do they seem different from authentically passionate people? Or do you feels it's pretty much all the same ball of wax? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
created by @zord189(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 171218 15:42 PDT
The Art of Passion
We spend plenty of our lives searching for her, longing and longing for her. Sometimes, just for a moment, for a few ephemeral weeks, we find her and then, as though to spite her, as if by magic she disappears as she came. Where does passion come from? Why is it slipping between our fingers?
Here is the first mistake most of us make when it comes to passion:
Like many young people today, we try to protect ourselves from the need for desire by keeping it at an ironic distance from us. We mock her when we notice her in others, we taunt those who seek her, we treat her harshly and cynically. But we do not see ourselves objectively. If we were objective we would soon realize that the resentment we show toward desire is our way of not acknowledging that we need it too. We regard passion as a lover who has thrown us away and we are still crying for him.
So the first lesson is this: the cynics have no passions. They harbor resentment toward passions. Although fashionable nowadays to discover cynicism towards passion and enthusiasm it does not make it actually true, wise or healthy. You can pretend you do not need passion but that's all it is: pretense. The simple truth is that the need for desire is natural and universal. Like all other human needs aboveground: like belonging, creativity or love. So when we pretend that we do not need passion we make the first mistake and reduce the chance of finding it. We are discussing ourselves to a robotic life: arid, barren, and empty. As we clenched, our teeth and pretended to be happy, no one really believed in this indifference and certainly, we did not believe it.
I can not properly emphasize the importance of the first lesson for the simple reason that I am so fashionable to be cynical about passion and enthusiasm. It is tragic to see how the writing of an entire generation ignores such a central component of self-fulfillment at such an early stage of life simply because they want to prove that they are ignored by the establishment. Their claim is valid but there are better and less destructive ways to do so.
The second mistake in relation to desire is a misunderstanding of its origins.
We think that meaning comes from desire and therefore we continually seek our "desires". Let me clarify this point correctly. We think that only if we can find our one true desire, then our confused, cracked, confused lives will finally have to mean. If only we can find the one thing that will motivate us, provoke us, burn us, and want to dedicate ourselves to Him, then we can find the meaning we are so desperate to find. Maybe if we play the violin ... we will learn to be a DJ ... we will be certified as a financial analyst ... We will win the competition, win the title, win the promotion ... If we "find" our true passion,
The result is that we continue to search.
We jump from hobby to hobby, from career to career, from work to work. This year it will be a violin and next year a piano. This year it will be progressive rock and next year Hipster Rap. The main thing is that we continue to search for our "passion" with passion and obsessive desperation. Yet somehow it eludes us and we do not know why. After long, results-free searches, we find ourselves on the verge of giving up, frustrated and condemned to mediocrity and emptiness.
What happened? Where were we wrong?
We turned the tables.
@denmarkguy - Sorry for the short answer, I accidentally wrote almost a post
Well, you wrote a rather beautiful essay @nirgf-- and thank you for that.
I am reminded of something one of my spiritual teachers pointed out many moons ago-- and which might be applied to authentic passion, as well-- which is that as long as the student "seeks enlightenment" there is an open admission that they do not HAVE enlightenment. And so, the search for enlightenment is self-perpetuating.
Passion is rather similar... we may have strong feelings, but if we keep searching for some "object" for our passions, it will never actually come to us; it will stay forever out of our reach. On the other hand, when we let go and allow ourselves simply to feel we may find ourselves inadvertently being in the middle of our deepest passion without even having tried.
I really like it, it's so true
Thank you very much for this scholarly answer
I really enjoyed this post. Frankly I'm going to take a moment once I get back from my duties today to read and upvote all your recent posts.
I'm passionate about writing! It's how I honed my focus from the anarchy you speak about :)
Thanks Raymond... I'm passionate about writing, as well. Which is how I got to seeking out the blogger's group here.
And right there is an easy distinction for me to make: I'm passionate about writing, so I gain some rewards. On the other hand, if Steemit was about... solving math equations... I wouldn't be at all passionate about being here, even if there were rewards.
Exactly the same. If Steemit was all about maths equations I would be keeping wellll away from here haha
Some people are messy and confused -see the assorted list of boyfriends- and that's the way they live, following their guts or their illusion rather than everything else.
I think the difference here is in planning. I know loads of passionate people who can't plan much, because they prioritize their "passion-hunt", rather than their passion plan and they are not ambitious, because as before they follow what they want without caring/organizing everything else.
Passion is about having "strong feelings" and there's no denying that. But you can have strong feelings and still be somewhat in control of your life and how you conduct yourself. The people you're describing and who are also similar to my post... they are almost "addicted" to strong feelings. And they try to get their "fix" with complete disregard for the effect that has on their surroundings.
Hi @denmarkgu, I love your article and I agree that people who live chaotic lives are often regarded as "passionate" or "cool". Unfortunately, this is one of many bad traits regarded or justified as good traits, especially within younger generations.
That said, I have changed 7 jobs in 5 years and 4 tango schools in 2 year, which I tend to justify as curiosity. Maybe it would be correct to say that I'm passionate about the basic ideas - entrepreneurship and Argentinian Tango - but I need a little bit of chaos too, lol.
For a lot of people, it does seem like they feel they can "slap a label" on some behavior, and thereby get away with doing something that's ultimately just selfish and means they get to impose themselves on others "in the name of" whatever label they have chosen.
"Hiding behind labels" seems to be an increasingly popular life strategy these days... "passion" is simple one of many misused terms...
People sometimes just call pretty things without actually knowing what the word means.
I believe passionate means to love something in a responsable way, dedicating your time and effort towards it without losing balance in your life.
Being a disastrous person and living a crazy life just for the sake of it isn’t passion, it’s irresponsability
That's pretty close to how I would distinguish the two, as well. But I also think a lot of irresponsible people would rather make excuses than own the fact that they have... issues.
actually, I would start your post with a definition of the word.
Say: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/passionate or https://dictionary.cambridge.org/ru/%D1%81%D0%BB%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%B0%D1%80%D1%8C/%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B3%D0%BB%D0%B8%D0%B9%D1%81%D0%BA%D0%B8%D0%B9/passion
after reading the definitions I would say your examples have nothing common with the defined words.
They are just jerks
That's true... I could have hung a dictionary definition out there, as well. But we would probably still have arrived at the same conclusion: Some people are simply jackholes who put a pretty label on their behavior as an excuse to take themselves off the hook.
Ahh @denmarkguy! It is because going around out there meeting & handshaking new people going down in flames...
It always feels so WARM as long as you remain 'shinning your crazy diamond' all the time. }:)
However, I totally agree with everything you've said on this post mate. :)
Wow.... I still have that original vinyl album somewhere-- old memory.
Hehehe me too mate!! Knowing you well, I suspected you should have that original vinyl album hidden somewhere. Therefore, my comment would be more meaningful to you. LoL }:)
YESS
wild, exuberant
PASSION!
I have known many people in my life and there are a few who I would say are grounded and live a passionate life. They are the ones who live in calm and peace. Others simply live in a vortex of chaos. Their passion changes more frequently than the wind. I chose to live my life in peace in tranquillity.
I choose to live a life of tranquility, as well... to whatever degree that is possible. I have "passions" (like writing, studying the human condition), but I am not trying to elevate them to some new art form of living in which every step I am taking is informed by an intense feeling rather than... some degree of courtesy and common sense.
i remembered someone exclaim to me "I'm a passionate person!" while being obnoxious, I kept thinking that you can't use this excuse to be self centered and not considering others
Unfortunately, some do use the term as a rationalization for bad behavior.