Not the Coast I Remember…
As part of doing a bit of tidying up in the large storage closet in my Home Office today, I came across some old photographs from my teenage years which I spent on the coast in the South of Spain.
The terrace at our house, circa 1976 (scanned from old photo)
Looking at them sent me down a little bit of a trip on memory lane, remembering how — in a sense — those were both very innocent years as well as very strange years.
We moved to Spain in 1972 when I was 12 years old, and the Spain of that time was still a totalitarian dictatorship under the rule of general Francisco Franco. Some forms of preferential treatment were given to foreign nationals moving to the area where we were, simply because the Spanish state saw visitor money and investment is a good thing.
I can't claim that I felt like living in Spain was a supremely wonderful experience, while at the same time I have often felt a certain nostalgia when I think about those days.
The street behind our house, winter (scan from old photo)
Interestingly enough — and here's a marvelous example of just how small our world can be sometimes — I did a few searches, looking for some of the places we used to visit when we lived there and somehow I stumbled across an interview in a Swedish newspaper, actually given by one of my schoolmates when I lived there; a Swedish girl who lived a couple of streets over from us and she used precisely the words I decided to use for the title of this post!
Unlike many, Lotta stayed in Spain, got married there and had a business for many years, but her perspective of this place where we lived our formative years was very similar to my own.
You see, I went back some 35 years later, after my mother died — she and my stepdad spent their final years there — and I spent some time trying to remember what it was like, when I was a kid. And even though I could find some of the places I used to visit back in the 1970's they somehow felt different. The Spanish coast area of 2012 was indeed quite different from the coast I grew up with.
The apartment building where my parents lives, circa 2008
I've reflected quite a bit on that in the decades since my last and final trip to the southern coast of Spain. And one of the things I've come to realize is that when we go back to places that we had a strong attachment at some point in our past — and they don't quite feel like they used to — the truth is that the places haven't really changed, but we have changed.
We might be able to stand next to a particular building, or a particular street, or the jetty at the local marina, and they are the same as they were back then... but the eyes through which we see them all those years later are not the same as those of the kid who stood there originally, and so they end up feeling quite different.
And that's the thing about memories, isn't it? Memories are best relived inside our heads where they were formed — trying to recreate them many years later tends to not work out because, after all, we're not time travelers!
Ever-changing patterns...
I write these words — which likely will be some of my last of the year 2024 — not as a warning but simply as an observation that sometimes it is best to just let the past live in the past where it belongs, not try to bring it forward up into the present.
Some people might remark "that's easier said than done," but it is actually fairly easy to do… if you realize what's happening to you when things are not feeling quite right.
Very soon, we will be uncorking a new year. Celebrations will be had, champagne corks will fly, toasts will be made, resolutions will be declared, perhaps hangovers will be created, but above all perhaps the opportunity that awaits us in 2025 is that of being present in this moment rather than trying to reach back to the past for things we cannot bring forward, nor dwelling too much on a future we don't even know whether will happen.
Thanks for stopping by, and enjoy your final day of 2024!
How about you? Have you ever returned to a place of your childhood and it LOOKED the same, but FELT different? Why do you think that is? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)
Created at 2024.12.31 00:13 PST
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Happy New Year!
I will quote your words:
When I return to the places where I lived as a child, I feel certain notes of nostalgia. But I don't have the feeling that this place is my home. I recently bought an apartment and moved there, again. You know what I understood. My home is where my child and wife are.
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Indeed!
So often we come to understand that "home" is not actually a place as much as it is how we feel and the people we are having those feelings with.
Happy New Year @o1eh!
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yes I had, multiple times to do this in my life because I was working abroad for decades. But when I came back to Germany where I was born, it still was most of the times the same place with some minor changes, and hey it felt anytime I´m coming back more wrong to be there.
The oppsite was the case when I came back to my working destinations (Cyprus, Sicily, Spain), it still feels good to be there, and its not quite the same like before it has changed in many ways, more construction, better roads, new powerstations, better internet, happy people and not to forget better weather as well.
And that´s why I changed places and live for more than 15 years now in the south of Europe actually in Spain.
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From the look of the photos on your blog, you are more or less in the same area where I lived and grew up, 1972-1981-ish (Mostly San Pedro and Estepona). I went to the States for University in 1981... and only came back for visits a few times to my parents who were still there... when my mother died in 2011, it was SO different there I almost didn't recognize anything, other than the mountains and the beach.
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Thank you for taking the time to respond to my comment ;)
yes, thats what I thought too when looking at your pictures.
And your absolutely right in the area of San Pedro and Estepona and Casares where I lived the most of my time in Andalucía has dramaticaly changed over the years with the construction of new buildings and infrastructure.
The biggest changes I ever noticed were in the town where my wife grew up with her grand parents in one of the subburbs of Madrid, there were just a few houses and a church and today its one of the most expensive places in th whole Madrid area with 2 Univerities, schools and more.
The only thing what is still present there like before is the house of one of her uncles which was build up on a solid huge rock, ah and the lake what they had build in that old times.
So, it means you got actually no more ties to the region here, or did you still have some relatives here in the area ?
Yeah, we're the one who changed. I did go back to my old elementary school, the whole buildings were rebuilt but the man who sold toys on his bicycle at the front gate of the school is still there. My old friends still living close to the school. But I felt there's always something missing there...
It's not the place but it's about the people lived in our memories, many of them have gone, or keep a social distancing for some reasons. Thanks for sharing 🙌 Happy Year 🎊🎊
Yes, so often it is about the people much more than the places we have the strong attachments to. We're not the same people we were a long time ago... and that's a good thing, because it means (hopefully!) that we have grown!