Strange Times: Love and Valuing the "Human" Part of Our Humanity

I was watching an interview and podcast primarily taking on the growing gap between the genders in terms of education. Over the past 20 years the average education level of young women has been steadily increasing while the education level of young men has been steadily decreasing.

A number of interesting topics were covered in relation to this topic, including the growing incidence of suicide among younger men, and (not related) the impending impact of population growth (or rather, population shrinkage) in a number of highly developed countries. There were a few other items covered that struck me as interesting... and a little disturbing.

As per usual I'm going to take the "unpopular" view of coming in and looking at this from angles that were just not discussed... perhaps because they reflect uncomfortable truth about the status quo of how humans are "expected" to live, and how much we've been indoctrinated into falling into lockstep with these societal expectations.

Where's the HUMAN in Humanity?

The thing I really want to touch on here is the considerable change we have undergone in terms of what we value in our fellow humans... as people; as a species. Specifically the thing that concerns me — and always has concerned me — is the fact that people increasingly value/evaluate a human being in terms of money and status, rather than character and integrity.

Although it's not really funny, I can't help but laugh a little at remembering the high school dating caricature where it often was the case that if you had a cool car as a guy you got to date pretty girls. Didn't matter whether you were a complete asshat or a good person. The car got you the date, not your person.

Keep in mind that I said high school, here! It's an age at which we generally haven't yet developed to a point of deeper contemplation and understanding of what's really important in life.

Even so...

But what if this caricature carries over?

Of course there are practical considerations in this mix as well. Let's face it, it is almost impossibly expensive to live anymore. And many countries face a housing system that has increasingly abandoned the idea of building young family first starter homes in favor of building upscale mansions for people because "there is more money to be made" in the upscale market. A lack of affordable places to live isn't just a result of appreciating real estate values, but also the fact that few — if any — builders want to build inexpensive housing.

It happens even with so-called "tiny houses." They may be tiny, but their builders insist on adding so many swank features that they end up being really expensive. Suddenly what used to be a $40,000 mobile home has become a $250,000 "tiny home."

I had to pause and ponder what was making me uncomfortable about what I was hearing. And I kept landing at the suggestion that practicality is increasingly replacing love as a motivation for forming relationships and even marriages. Meaning, in a sense, that a core part of our humanity is being removed from the equation.

And please don't misunderstand me here — I'm not saying that I'm opposed to money or to having nice things; I'm just saying I'm opposed to using them as a primary characterization of a person. Show me your degrees and your bank account, THEN show me your heart and your face?

Granted, I may have some residual "issues" there, having been raised by parents whose marriage seemed more like a "business arrangement" than a marriage. Growing up with a "cordial but loveless" model for relationship messes with your sense of reality... I had much to un-learn. But that's a whole other story!

Now, this all might sound like a bit of a "muddle" you but there is a point here — I fear, a somewhat dark point — being that if we're growing more predisposed to forming connections and marriages on practical considerations (like money and status) than on love, it does not seem very surprising to me that the outcome would be population shrinkage.

What does this have to do with education levels? As younger generations of women are "leveling up" they are seeking their equals, and with younger generations of men "leveling down," a lot of people are left out in the cold... also contributing to the population shrinkage.

Of course, this is less pronounced in developing nations, but it's noteworthy that as a society's wealth rises, its birthrate tends to shrink.

Mind you, I also have a romantic heart who always values who a person IS above what they HAVE. Love first, then other things...

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great remainder of your week!

How about you? Have you observed any changes in what people "value" in others, between your childhood and now? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2024.03.21 00:15 PDT
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