Once again there is so much to talk about I can't even think straight and put it to paper in any kind of sensical order.

Let the rambling begin.

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Remember all those times when you were a kid and your parents gave you that amazing advice of how to avoid getting sick during flu season?

Remember son, always stay 6 feet away from everyone.
This is the key to not getting sick.

Yeah, I don't remember that either, because it never happened, and this has never been sound advice.

---

It's like when I look up to the sky and ask people:

Hey, do you ever remember airplanes creating persistent contrails that turn into a creepy ass mist in the sky? I don't.

Nah bro, that's totally normal.

But that is off topic.

_{WTF is a meter?}

I swiped this off a chair from Amazon sort center SMF5, where I've had a part time job for pushing 30 months. Don't worry, they have plenty. They put one on every chair in the entire warehouse and this one happened to fall on the ground.

My favorite edition to this narrative was added Sunday March 22, 2020:

PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCING, MAINTAIN 6FT DISTANCE.
THESE TAPES ARE 6FT APART.

Isn't that nice?

Amazon really cares about the safety of their employees!
Yes yes, I feel very safe.
I counted 54 of these labels from the edge of the parking lot to the front door of SMF5.

Here's the location on Google Maps for reference.

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Amazon/@38.3988502,-121.9497603,17.82z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0xe944a1b719becff9!8m2!3d38.399124!4d-121.9501828

Fun fact:

Back when we were still doing standup (a 5 minute announcement at the beginning of shift) at the end of said standup there is a chant that everyone is encouraged to do.

It goes something like this:

STOMP STOMP Clap
STOMP STOMP Clap
STOMP STOMP Clap
Operations: "S-M-F"
Worker Drones: "So Much Fun"
Operations: "We don't stop"
Worker Drones: "Till the sorting's done!"

Isn't that fun?

We get our own custom chant!

I pledge allegiance to the flag...

Working here has been my secret shame for 30 months, but now that working is currently a privilege it's a pretty sweet deal.

During the crisis:

• We get a $2 raise
• We get double-time overtime instead of time-and-a-half.
• We can work more than 30 hours (normally limited to avoid health insurance)
• Have started to acquire Vacation-time in addition to our sick-time.
  • Essentially double the paid time off (PTO).
• Taking voluntary extra shifts (VET) gets you a raffle ticket.
  • Can enter to win PS4, iRobot, Roku TV, or Nintendo Switch.
• Infinite unpaid-time-off (UPT)
  • We can no call / no show or leave anytime we like

Isn't Amazon Great?

Seriously WTF is going on?

You know how I know that Amazon is totally full of shit? At the beginning of break time they've been handing out consumables like Gatorade, muffins, granola bars, and fresh fruit.

Wait wait, I'm not done.

They give us these things before anyone has even had a chance to wash their hands.

Hey I see you just touched 300 random packages,
take this,
eat it,
good job.

Not a joke.

Don't worry folks, we're gonna stop the spread of this virus by standing 6 feet apart (which is literally impossible to do when scanning packages off a lane and putting them onto the pallets they belong). Operations comes in during break reminding us to keep our social distance, and when associates reply back, "that's literally impossible out on the floor" they just gloss over that fact and say something that amounts to, "Try your best, safety is number one. We care."

Amazon is number one.

It's actually hard to tell if they believe the bull shit they are spewing or not.
After all, these commandments are coming up on high, way above their paygrade.

Trump is spewing some bullshit today about how we should reopen the economy. This is probably the first time I've heard him say something that I wholeheartedly agree with. Yes! Open the fucking economy! Do it!

They're not going to do it.

Oh! Boohoo, look at that!

Trump, champion of the people!

He just wants to get citizens their jobs back and get this economy back on track!

LOL, Yeah Right!

This is a scripted response meant to piss off liberals and enamor republicans, further splitting the divide between citizens of this country.

#covidiots

Hashtag #covidiots is trending on Twitter. Because if you don't social distance during this time you're a fucking idiot. Hey, you know a really good way to bridge the gap between ideologies and work to unite communities?

Call them idiots.

That always works.
I Promise.

GET IT!?!? BECAUSE COVID AND IDIOT END AND BEGIN WITH THE SAME 2 LETTERS!!!!11

Tell me, who are the idiots again?

Now I'm the idiot telling the #covidiot people they are idiots for calling the idiots: idiots.

Stupid is contagious.

The only purpose this hashtag serves is to give people "following the rules" an echo chamber with the function of patting themselves on the back. Wow, good job morons. Your evil overlords that you don't even know exist are very proud of you right now. Stay inside and do nothing while everything is taken away from you.

To be fair, the people being called #covidiots... why are they outside again? Are they fighting the man? Are they trying to get some money to feed and take care of their families? No, they are in Florida on spring break partying it up while the world ends. Okay, maybe they are idiots after all.

Nothing's going to ruin my vacation, bro.

That's what this is all about.

Where do we think this whole "stand 6 feet away from people" thing came from? Why do we think they are pushing an anti-encryption law for messaging services like Whatsapp? Why do we think they are pushing facial recognition technology so hard right now?

Spoiler alert: the answer is not to track COVID-19

They obviously are expecting mass social unrest, rioting, and straight up martial law. We will not be allowed to form groups to organize a resistance. The stage has already been set. Any group of people seen in public will be targeted as a threat. The population has already been trained to stay separated under the guise of saving lives.

https://www.npr.org/2020/03/22/819821732/why-we-are-deliberately-allowing-our-economy-to-go-on-a-downward-spiral

My girlfriend is already terrified. She will not listen to what I am saying. She told me to read this NPR article explaining why we are "deliberately allowing our economy to go on a downward spiral". I read it. What did I learn?

Collectively — intentionally — we are putting much of the economy on lockdown. The priorities are clear: save lives and keep hospitals and emergency rooms from being overwhelmed. For now, that means America is an economic ghost town.

That's pretty much it.

This is not new information. I thought I was going to learn something. I didn't. How is parroting the already known mainstream narrative helpful? People need to believe this lie in order to stay sane right now I guess.

Even with all those sweet-ass deals that Amazon is giving employees right now, many are still too afraid to show up to work. And that's just from fear of getting sick, it has nothing to do with what's actually going down right now.

My mom lives in Mexico. She told me she got across the border right before they closed it.

Remember when everyone was like:

Hey! Why is the razor wire on our side.

And the conspiracy theorists be like:

TO KEEP YOU IN.

And then we all laughed at them because they are fucking morons?

Tell me, are we still laughing now?

Apparently it isn't enough that most everyone is dirt poor even in the face of exponential technological advancement. The government is literally preventing citizens from working and then airdropping money onto the people that they want to survive. Non-citizens are fucked. There is definitely going to be some aspect of systemic-racism via this helicopter money that's going to fuck over people who don't have white skin or are undocumented.

I'm already angry that it looks like I'm going to have to do my taxes for last year in order to get this USD airdrop.

I haven't done my taxes since 2012. Am I a tax evader? No, in fact, the government owes me money.

I'm poor as shit.

I made $11.5k last year and $12.5k the year before that. The year before that I made less than $1000 I think because I got the Amazon job at the end of the year during Christmas-time peak. I made $0 from that point all the way back to 2012.

I refused to be a part of this fucked up system. I took out max school loans. I maxed all every credit card I could get. I've spent hardly anything for 8 years. I have been living the most low maintenance lifestyle possible due to my political beliefs.

I refuse to feed this disgusting system.

My credit score is at or below 400. I have sacrificed my identity to achieve my goals. Every month I get a new settlement from the debt-collectors bargaining at a lower level.

Suck on my debt, fuckers!

You're not getting a penny!
If Bitcoin moons, perhaps I'll negotiate something crazy with them like paying 1 cent on the dollar just so I can say I did it and get my identity back before the 7 year statute of limitations.

https://wallethub.com/edu/cc/statute-of-limitations-for-credit-card-debt/25602/

Shit, nevermind.

Maybe my time is almost up.

Whelp, this one is running long.

I told you I had a lot to talk about.
Gonna break it up into a second post.
#buzzoff!