COMING OUT
For years, I have been like brother Nico, living in the shadows; but following closely the men and women of faith on this space at the same time learning from the shepherd of my local Church.
Yes, I am that secret disciple.
I first discovered I could write when I was 14, my first writ was a song; there was a time I wanted to be a singer (story for another day) was funny though, after I wrote the song I added some beats to it.
And then I moved on from writing song lyrics to poems, stories most of which were read by me. I didn't want others seeing them because I didn't think they were good enough for a third eye.
Fast forward to when I began sharing my stories and the advent of the social media. I could get to share my stories here on this space too. Well, this was the beginning of my struggles.
In the sense that, I gave my life to Christ. Now, some of my write-ups were romantic, some were dark, others focused on the ills of the society, others were inspirational. I literally wrote on everything.
The University days helped me to discover I could write research papers too.
So, I wondered how I was going to write again while portraying Christ (I mean as a believer I have an obligation to share the good news of salvation).
I learnt early from Francine rivers and Karen Kingsbury I could write gospel romance. But for some weird reasons, I wasn't so keen on writing romance; I had an affinity for Ted Dekker's I preferred his genre.
Yet still I loved crime novels. I spent my teenage years and early adulthood devouring every single novel I could lay my hand on.
But I was still confused to what my niche will be. I kept on asking myself, " what will people know me for?" How will I preach Christ?"
So today, I'd post a story, tomorrow I would write a poem, next tomorrow I would inspire, following day I will share the good news.
But unlike my fellow believers in faith who seemed to know God well with a certain level of clarity, I was just a "guy". Still trying to find my feet.
I followed closely those that shared the Gospel (I still follow them), I deeply admired them and wished I could share the Word like that and have same experience like them.
I left writing on social media for a while and then came back.
This was me trying to find clarity, it was me asking God what exactly he wanted me to do as regarding writing. In fact, at a point I wanted to leave it altogether.
The struggle kept me on and off on social media until I finally sauntered into motivational writes. I began to write, loving every moment of it, bringing God in when I felt necessary, and (let me use the word "subtly"), you wouldn't even know what I was about.
Until I discovered that;
"this isn't the gospel, I don't get to bring God in when I feel like, but I let Him be my Source. Let Him be the message".
That epiphany has given me the freedom and clarity I need.
So this is me saying that in the days ahead whether I get to write stories or poems, it is going to be about Jesus Christ. You are going to see more about Him.
And although I do not know the depths of this, but I have a company of witnesses from the Scriptures, on this space and offline- they are believers.
And I am proud to say "I am a believer too"- I am a Christian. This is me coming out.