The Tasteliciousness of Freedom
Here is another recording of mine. I have decided to give once in a while a little reflection on certain topics which do interest me and to which I want to share my personal thoughts. I talk freely about the topic of "freedom" today.
Maybe you'd like to have some audio company during your morning wake up or after coming home and wanting to relax a little or to follow what comes up to your mind when you connect to the given topic.
When I talk about "the order of things" in the context of family, I mean the time of birth of the individual family members and what we - without necessarily consciously thinking about it - expect of each other when we move in a family constellation. The one who was there first has the most responsibility. Over time, as children grow up, this responsibility shifts towards parents, but parents remain in their role all their lives and feel a responsibility to be role models for their children. We humans like to orient ourselves towards a natural order and do not like to see it confused. Of course this doesn't mean that something doesn't get out of hand, because it's the disturbing thing about rooting order that makes us aware that there is one.
In connection with some childhood memories, for example, I tell you about my mother, who gave me a lot of freedom when I was little. This sometimes created a kind of counter-movement among my friends and I was raised not only by my own family but also by neighbours and parents of friends. What I was allowed to do at home I was not allowed to do there and vice versa. Freedoms were envied or granted and a certain flexibility in recognising differences from the personal childhood and adult perspectives draws a picture that neither too rigidly insists on rules nor too extensively on freedoms.
Overall, one can " receive " freedom (as a child) and must " take " freedom (as an adult).
Thank you for listening.
Feel free to share some of your own experiences or moments when you truly felt free in your life. What was the cause for this feeling and how would you best describe it?
Photo by Eric Muhr on Unsplash
Length: 25 Minutes
Software: "Garageband"
Konverting software from Mp3 into Mp4 (audio to video): "Terminal"
You speak of freedom as sensation (she felt free… I feel free… sense of freedom), so you do well to differentiate the theoretical freedom, which is freedom as an idea, from this freedom. It's funny how, even in the examples you put, feeling free does not always go hand in hand with being really free, and how you can even be free without knowing it, and therefore, without a sense of freedom. It's the same as with happiness, beauty, wisdom, etc. Perhaps we should seek to reach a midpoint between being and sense, a state of consciousness(?).
For the rest, it is important that you mention the "natural order", in fact, I believe or have been able to notice, perhaps it is only me, similar allusions in your latest posts, whether consciously or unconsciously, directly or indirectly, to such order. I don't know if you are familiar with the "Wu Wei", a concept of Taoism that is about not forcing things, letting natural order prevail, that things flow in harmony, the "Wu Wei" is about doing nothing but leaving nothing undone. It has a lot to do with what you say, maybe you should keep an eye on it.
Thank you, @vieira, I like the "Wu Wei" very much!
I've heard it in the context of Alan Watts lectures, he talked about it. But I have not dug into it so far. I learned the concept of "natural order" within my education for consulting. It's woven into the systemic approach of family therapy and other topics in this field.
I had a consulting incident where X got into trouble at the airport. X was not following the flight company rules with the luggage and wanted to smuggle more kilos into the plane than allowed. This was not getting trough unseen and X was stopped entering the plane. Then things got out of hand. The result of this was that security came and police was called. X was in the following treated badly and dignity was hurt. I do not take stand for any party but I know X for quite a while and from what I sensed during time is that X has a general feeling of not being free resp. tends to victimize. This pessimistic tendency shows itself in interactions with people. Now, everything could be fine if others would have been cool and calm themselves. Which they were not in this case. The authorities have to deal with people who bend rules. Now, at the airport it is not a good idea in doing so, while at another place - going to a club and smuggling in a friend - is not a big deal. I guess that X and the others were meeting at a wrong moment and could altogether not deal with one another in a dignified form. X wants compensation. The interesting question is: for what exactly? For missing the plane (losing money), for the treatment through the security (which was exaggerated and violent as the story goes)?
Would it be not Wu Wei, when one does not accept that there is indeed an order attached to traveling? Time schedules, security matters, thousands of people arriving and departing, measurements take place, a whole huge area in maintenance. It's against the order when I, as a single person, now find myself unfairly treated and therefore disturb the whole procedure and even cause a delay for another hundred something passengers. There is a chain of events going on on which I as a single traveler have no idea about.
Would it be Wu Wei when I would achieve it to take the extra luggage with me by somehow negotiate it with the responsible staff upfront who then just wave me through because they have the overview of the already boarded plane and close one eye to the rule bending? If everything goes smoothly and without disturbance to the flow but I still can stretch my wants/needs to a certain extend, than I was given an exception. I moved nevertheless within the realm of order and were given the opportunity to stretch my freedom a bit. I know, this is now a kind of silly example but I wanted to stick with it. As well as it would be Wu Wei when I am told that it's not possible and I am just fine with that, right?
Could I follow Wu Wei indirectly and - after I made an experience like taking a plane - come up with something that gives even a better order of travel experience? I reflect upon it, inform myself, encourage people to travel wisely, when asked etc. etc.
My knowledge about non-action is also superficial, my knowledge of Taoism is very low, so do not expect opinion to be the most accurate or anything like that, but as far as I understand, it is precisely about being "actively passive", to let the natural order prevail, this order is not alien to us, it is not something that exists independently of us, it is something that we are part of when we don't force things and when we don't want to have total control of the situation, when we simply act for ourselves and do what we owe, that which corresponds to us.
Then, the natural order is always there, in all situations, even in artificial situations created by the human, as in an airport, and to be part of that order must be "actively passive", things should not be forced.
Who is not being "actively passive" in that situation? Who is forcing things? For it will be in him that the disturbance of order will fall.
By the way... my mother in law used to just sit there as well and I often wondered if she was just mad at something or really only... just wanted to be..
Thank you for giving this example and confirm that there are indeed people who don't mind to be caught in the act of doing nothing. :)) It's like those people stick out from what usually is expected and done by people. The irritation this is causing, let's one think and ask what it could mean.
To stare holes in the air or being content with contemplating or letting oneself feel the hours going by is - in my view - such a good thing.
Not wanting to get something out of a moment is what gives sometimes the most.
Pick the best out of life's circumstances! Yes, I can put more emphasis on doing this and I'm willing to bet doing it will make me look younger than a mainstream diet ;)
I don't mind being one month shy of 49 and in many ways feel more beautiful/at peace than I did in my twenties when I was more concerned about what others thought of me.
Freedom through self-acceptance and responsibility keeps rising to the surface in bits I read, people I talk to and so in my waking dream, I see it is where my heart/mind would like to go more in depth.
HaHa! Right, you are, Kimberly. In not wanting to be pretty at all costs, one becomes shiny. Let go gives balance and being thankful for what one was gifted by others. Everything can be re-framed, re-phrased and de-constructed. Joy is to give.
Your heart is a good direction giver, I find.
Hugs from the far!
P.S. Can you give an example where you found freedom? On which occasions did it happen that you felt free?
Your outlook is refreshing and full of wisdom.
So many talk about freedom to do: freedom of speech or whatever, but what about freedom to be silent? Freedom from compulsion but also other things..
The balance of freedom from social obligations and recognizing responsibility is a very complex one. It's important to be open-minded but also cautious and measured. Responsive to the moment, the environment and to change.
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To be measured is an art. Sometimes, when I am dissatisfied and my ego becomes huge, I wish to get more attention. But there is also something, which holds me back to pull the right triggers to get the attention. Because then being responsive to the moment can become a bigger task that one has wished for.
So, usually I keep my environment little in order not having to deal with too much encounters. The more they become the more I have to be responsive. There is a contradiction in wanting to have success and not wanting to be in communication with the many who "buy" what one is offering.
Thank you for throw that in. It actually helps me over my disappointment from today.
What a delight to find one of your recordings here. I will not listen until bedtime. Since listening to your last recording I have been listening to Youtube videos before sleep. It's always history, about various places in the world. So far I've gone to Norway, Russia, Germany, Cambodia, Shanghai, Belgium...This recording will be a welcome change.
I enjoyed your essay, about freedom, children and parents. It's interesting that you had so much freedom. Somehow, that makes sense from what I know about you. You very much own your life.
I'll see you later, at bedtime :)
Ah ... that is something familiar to me. I do and did this often, too. When I first dealt with just audio, I was kind of bored not to have delivered pictures but once I got used to it, it gave a certain relief not always to have to watch something. But to be carried by a voice.
I also like to hear about customs and culture from foreign countries. Sometimes we forget how much abundance is out there.
Yes, at least I try to own my life and, at the same time, refrain from wanting to control the lives of others.
Sometimes I got confronted cause people felt disturbed by my free mind but when I stay calm about it that ain't a problem. Your spirit shows freedom, too. Would you be able to name the causes?
Enjoy the recording:)
Thank you for a good night's sleep. What a relaxing, enjoyable tape. As you roamed freely on the subject of freedom, you drew me in. So many thoughts went through my head, and then I fell asleep--to pleasant dreams.
I finished listening this morning and once again began to reflect on my life and experience as you went through yours. This was almost like a meditation for me.
Shall I share some of what you dredged up? It seems all my life I had responsibility. In my childhood there were difficult circumstances. By the time I was 23 I was supporting my mother and helping to support one of my sisters. She had supported me for years. So we didn't have a typical family situation (for the U. S., anyway). I guess this sense of responsibility gave me a kind of freedom to be myself because--what was my choice? I didn't follow the way of most young people. I made my own way.
I loved the discourse on your family, on the natural evolution of roles and on your acceptance of the evolution that time brings. Yes, the tyranny of youth, or age. Or race or gender. We have to just be ourselves, and not be ruled by these perceptions.
I hope you make more tapes!
I feel happy being told to be of service for a good nights sleep to you. It was said that I talk too slow but as that is subjective, I don't care:) I got so used to slow talking voices that I feel irritated to listen to fast talkers.
You took on early on responsibility but obviously not too soon as it shows to me. To maintain your freedom while fulfilling several duties was not easy, though, I guess. Not having a choice is actually not to the worst. Accepting that there are still other choices in life and not feeling as a victim to take on what cannot be chosen, is a helper for maturation, I find.
Family constellation and the order of the position one takes up is indeed interesting. I was the youngest and what I found out is that I cannot raise my son in the same spirit I was raised. The circumstances and the order demand it to be different. Took a while to realize that.
Giving back to your sister what you received can be a lifetime task - I saw siblings who "finished" this process and were becoming content. Mostly, in older ages.
There is nothing really typical for family constellations ... if ever was ... families are so rich in variation, no?
Yes, I plan on further tapes, really like doing that.
P.S. As I slept little hours last night, I decided on taking a nap this afternoon. Oh, what a strange dream I had. Huge bluish white octopuses chased me on the streets and snaked their arms around me and I felt sucked into the slippery depths of their extremities. It was frightening and fascinating at the same time. Before, or after this scene, I don't know, I climbed a red brick old house at dizzying heights where I stood on draughty abysses and wondered how I would ever get down again. ..... came totally out of the blue.
It sounds so surrealistic, your dream. If you were inclined to paint--what an image that would make.
Yes, more tapes. And I think I'll look up those monks. Sleep is good, and not always easy to come by for me.
I think we have both found peace in our lives, through different paths.
Oh I just love those recordings. Your beautiful voice and those giggles! divine 🤩
💋 :)
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