My introduction to yoga, more than 25 years ago, came from a strong desire to go as far within as possible.

To me, there is no such thing as "too deep."

Not deep enough... now there's plenty of that.

Thirsting for the depth of Life... and instead, almost-always being offered bland, shallow, sugary, plastic-coated simulations of Realness.

I could never develop the skills needed to win at "let's-pretend-this-untrue-crap-matters," or "yes-our-species'-under-achievement-is-totally-fine."

Those silly games left me hungry as a wolf. Arooooo.

I think we are weakened when our inner-knowing conflicts a lot with our outer reality. Living out of agreement with ourselves, and being distant from or passive about the things that matter most to us, weakens our heart... physically, and emotionally.

When we don't feel able to influence our outer reality, or don't know how, we often dive into lesser things like:

• avoidance
• debt
• addiction
• acquisition
• distraction
• stagnation
• domination

And call it a life. When we know...

We are haunted by a desire for some shit that matters. Experiences and encounters that have enough substance to expand shrunken attention-spans, and rehydrate shriveled imaginations.

Blah, blah, add in much more existential angst, with abiding depression, and a permanent sense of aloneness...

and that kinda explains the inner state of affairs that led me to desperately want to find a way OUT (of the meaningless madness), by finding a way IN (to, at the very least, somethin' real).

Hence, my discovery of Kriya Yoga, which I practiced a number of years, and largely integrated its core concepts.

As well as a number of other forms of meditation and transformation, including Vipassana, Tantra and Kemetic Yoga. Kemetic Yoga is an EGYPTIAN (not Indian) based yogic form in which I was certified in 2013, by Master Yirser Ra Hotep.

Learning and practicing this Kemetic system helped re-organize my brain in deeply-needed, liberating ways. Despite its profound effect on me, I've said very little about it. I understand why, now.

Alchemical and ancestral heat has been refining a simple message, I'm now beginning to share...

Seshat

So, quite a bit of delving into history, culture, other languages and forms have to first be studied, in order to get a better understanding of myself??

Hmmm, it's not the most direct route I've ever heard...

And I always resented that.

I resented having/needing a map -- made by someone else -- to explore the insides of me. What the hell kind of sense does that make? Seriously. lol

Okay, "resented" is strong.

Instead, let's say, I "noted," that learning a system, method, pose, technique and cultural context was needed -- even if only a little -- to journey forward/inward, in those practices. And it always seemed like a slight detour from the RAW and DIRECT encounter I sought.

Don't get me wrong... each time I have invested the significant time, and mental and physical effort, necessary to grok ancient wisdom, anatomical fact and physical poses, I HAVE BEEN GREATLY REWARDED.

But it wasn't the kind of reward I was seeking. It did not feed that Wolf Hunger, that rejects formulas and recipes.

Our inner wolf is domesticated + socialized out of most of us. He faces extinction, and will be replaced by an obedient, manicured poodle when we aren't watchful.

I will always refer to those first-learned systems because they are foundational and useful.

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But one day, while high + lifted, I was given a gnosis... SativaYoga

Quick question... what's your First Feeling from the phrase 'SativaYoga' ??

I didn't ask First Thought (where you scramble and think, "Hmmm, I've never heard of that before. What lineage/guru..."

I asked First Feeling. There's a difference. Try, if you're game, and feel into it...

What comes up?

I ask, because a lot of people, when they first hear it, they say something along the lines of "Oooh or Mmmm, that sounds intriguing/wonderful."

If you felt something similarly... a resonance... it's because it is YOUR yoga.

It is a way to + through, your own most esteemed inner door.

I'll share things I've noticed along my journey, and it will probably inspire greater closeness between you and you... your primary relationship, from which all the other ones flow.

I thought I'd unfold it here, on Steemit. The first part of this SativaYoga Bikini Body Series started HERE. This is the second post.

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Movement That Is Free + True (FreeMovement)

With very few exceptions, every form of physical movement I have EVER been taught, has had "a proper way, or form."

Jazz, ballet and tap dance. Even Salsa. Jogging. Skiing. Push-Ups. Squats. Planks. Capoeira. Tennis. Asanas.

When does the body get to experience movement WITHOUT friggin' instruction?!

I mean, seriously... movement to harmlessly and beneficially RELEASE pulses, urges... memories, traumas... poisonous narratives... twisted beliefs... that have been hogging up space inside us.

Allowing these things to moooooove through and out of you, very similarly to a physical bowel movement... FreeMovement (which I'll describe, all along our way) allows these "charges" to run their physical course out of you...

... through a yielded, surrendered body that simply relaxes enough to let each arm and leg, spine, neck and core, move as it pleases, and as it needs.

The most difficult part will be to get still and quiet enough to be able to listen to your body, and hear/sense/know how it would like to move!

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I closed my eyes and, with love, imagine-scanned my physical body, from the top of my head down the full-length of my body's front, back, sides, beneath my feet... all scanned in warm, loving light-heat. Then, I noticed...

I felt embarrassed, as if exposed for having treated a guest of importance, like shit. I confessed to my body:

• I have ruled over you.
• Often with ignorance, negligence, repression, judgment and even scorn.
• Seldom with tenderness, acceptance and high regard. I am sorry for this self-loathing behavior.
• I understand that you -- my physical body -- are not merely a vehicle.
• You are also an extension of me, in this earthly experience.
• To the extent that I accept and respect you, I accept and respect me.
• There is no separation between us, as long as BREATH is bridging body and spirit.
• I recognize your wisdom, and your inability to lie to me.
• That is of great value, and I will better listen to you, and follow your guidance.

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People who feel "safe" in their mind, are usually taking refuge there from their body.

Health, fitness, appearance or confidence may either suffer in some way, or be completely numbed, and neglected altogether.

Usually, because we're not listening very closely, our bodies have to SCREAM in the form of sickness and disease to get our attention. To tell us to transform or leave an unfulfilling career, relationship or lifestyle.

When we lean in to hear our bodies -- and when we show interest even in its whispers -- then, we can pre-emptively dance with the mercenary who was coming for us! We can often disarm the onset of pains and problems, with rhythm, and with righteous herb.

My sessions started simple... with music, a bowl, and a mind deferred to the leadership of my body.

Then, while doing something super basic and mundane (like dishes, laundry or even outlining an article or blog post), I'd feel the most pleasing electrical current flow along my spine. Literally, pulses of pleasure. And I only wanted to allow those pleasing pulses to move their way out.

The way it moves out changes each and every day, like an ever-evolving vocabulary of movements with meaning. At the end of even just 15 to 20 minutes of allowing your body to move as it pleases, you will feel more "settled" inside yourself.

The pleasant spinal pulses started about 15 years ago. Because the sensation is such a pleasing one -- like gentle, ocean waves that ripple, roll and refresh, from head to toe, from inside out -- because it has always and only felt incredible, I've allowed it. All these years.

Then, I started looking forward to it. Making time for it. Protecting it. Until, eventually, it became its own sub-life (my cultivated inner life, that's helping me liberate my outer life).

I started looking for information outside of me about it. And everything that talked about the spine and 'energy' or 'pulses' pointed to Kundalini -- as the name, noun and phenomena of what I was experiencing.

And I'm grateful for the strong foundation of esoteric and metaphysical study now beneath me.

Because it helped prepare me to receive the botanical insight and gift of SativaYoga, which traveled along my spinal highway, and showed me:

(1) how similar our plasma is to plant plasma, chlorophyll;

(2) how similar our spines are to plant stems; and

(3) a series of insight-filled movements that have given me a new relationship with my body.

SativaYoga deepened my listening skills, and by listening to and following the lead of my body, it has freed me of -- among other things:

* puritanically-derived shame;

* debilitating modesty; and

* fat, puffiness and inflammation.

(Almost) daily, conscious consumption of cannabis, combined with FreeMovement, renews my mind, and nearly 47-year old body that, honestly, seems to be reversing in the aging process (and NOT because I am doing all the things 'right,' either!) Ancient civilizations that lived with cannabis are renowned for their longevity and agelessness. Coincidence?

We are in a RELATIONSHIP with our body. Why not make it a love affair?

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