In reflection

Hello stemians and ladies happy to be part of this amazing community and participate in this contest

I must comment this topic is good
So let's heed straight to my entry

In Reflection – A Mirror to My Thoughts

What do we propose in this contest?
Life doesn’t always give us time to pause. We move from one task to the next, one relationship to another, and rarely stop to ask ourselves why we think, feel, or react the way we do. This contest, for me, is a chance to slow down and reflect—not just on life in general, but on those little questions that hold deeper meaning when we look close enough. So, I took the time to sit with a few of them and share what came up from a genuine place.

1. Why do you think many men don't like it when their partners don't have their own jobs?

From what I’ve seen—and even heard in conversations around me—this issue runs deeper than just money. There’s something psychological going on. Some men feel uneasy when their partner doesn’t work, maybe because it makes them feel like everything is on their shoulders. And let’s be real, carrying the whole load financially can be a lot of pressure.

But I also think there’s a pride thing involved, and sometimes a fear of being taken for granted. Or maybe it’s the opposite—they feel insecure when a woman depends fully on them. It challenges the idea of an equal partnership.

Personally, I believe both people in a relationship should feel independent yet united. Whether someone works or not, what matters is having purpose, mutual respect, and shared effort in building a life together. It’s not just about income—it’s about intention.

1. Is helping an act of kindness that we should know who to give to and why?

Helping others is something I truly value, but I’ve learned over time that not everyone wants help, and not all help actually helps. I’ve been in situations where I gave with an open heart, only to realize later that it was either taken for granted or misused. That’s a hard pill to swallow.

Now I try to be more mindful. I ask myself, Is this person trying to help themselves, too? Or am I just doing all the work for them? I think kindness without wisdom can sometimes lead to enabling people instead of empowering them.

So yes, help—but also ask why you’re helping, and if it’s genuinely needed. Not everyone needs saving. Some just need space to grow.

1. Is it necessary to give up what you like most to please others?

I used to think so. I’ve let go of hobbies, stayed silent about my opinions, even dressed differently—just to avoid conflict or keep someone happy. But with time, I started to feel this growing emptiness, like I was living less and less as me.

Now I see it differently. Compromise is one thing—self-erasure is another. I think it’s possible to love people and still stand your ground about what matters to you. The people who truly love us don’t want us to dim our light just so they can shine.

These days, I try to keep a balance. I give when I can, but I’ve stopped abandoning parts of myself to win someone’s approval. If I have to give up what I love most just to keep the peace, that peace probably isn’t real anyways

1. Do you think that in matters of love we should involve reason?

Whew—this one’s personal. I’ve been led by my heart more times than I can count, and let me tell you, it didn’t always end well. Passion is beautiful, but it can be blinding. I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that love without logic can turn into a trap.

Now, I try to check in with my head as much as my heart. Does this relationship support my growth? Do we share core values? Can we communicate through the hard stuff, not just the romantic moments?

Reason gives love structure. It protects us from getting caught up in fantasy and reminds us that love should feel safe, not just exciting. So yes, in love, feelings are essential—but reason is what keeps the love healthy and lasting.

Final Thoughts

This reflection wasn’t just about answering questions—it was about being honest with myself. We all have patterns we fall into, ideas we carry from childhood, and beliefs we never thought to question. But when we stop and reflect, things start to shift. We get to know ourselves a little better.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I’m really grateful for the chance to share my thoughts like this—it’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

This is my entry for the “In Reflection” contest. Thanks to everyone participating I look forward to reading your thoughts too

Inviting my female friends to participate