Taking Responsibility for Trauma Drama

Emotional trauma is such a crazy thing!

Sometimes it is hidden so deeply we may not even recognize it’s been woven into the very fabric of our existence.  For years and years we can go on with the trauma being the ruling factor behind our decisions, the under current of our relationships, the catalyst for our fears, and the rationale for our behavior.  Most of us live our lives conducted in accordance with our past ideas, experiences and limitations, and when trauma is in the mix, we can act in ways we would not be proud to be seen.

However, trauma is hard to hide.  We can fake it for a while by putting on our nice face, by hiding behind a mask, and pretending to be someone we are not.  But eventually, reality will rear its ugly head, and our true selves will shine through in the mirrors all around us.  The mask is only a bandaid that will get soiled and fall off sooner or later, especially when finding ourselves in a tight situation that would require really looking in the mirror and taking personal responsibility.

Taking responsibility for one’s life can honestly be quite difficult.  To do that, we cannot be victims of anything. We cannot be a victim in love, in war, in our health, in our interactions and relationships with others, or other experiences of life.  We must be capable of standing in our own power and making changes that benefit, rather than trying to hide behind blame or circumstance.

Blame is a way many people cope with being irresponsible.  It’s easier to point the finger at someone or something else than it is to acknowledge that we are the one making choices that dictate our experience.  Since most of our choices are based on what we already know of life, our experiences unfold in accordance with what we have lived and what we believe we deserve, and unresolved trauma is a large dictating factor in the outcome.

Living in community has given me an incredible opportunity to experience how trauma plays out in people’s daily lives.  When people are living together 24/7, working, playing and delving into full-on togetherness with all backgrounds from everywhere and of all kinds, the patterns become very apparent and often times predictable, and the way people react to situations tells the bigger story of who they are and from where they’ve come, as well as the trajectory of where they are going.  No matter how calm and collected someone is, it has been my experience that they still have triggers that bring up old wounds and send them on a soul searching journey of varied lengths and intensity.  How they deal with and manage the scenarios is a testament to their empowerment and their ability to stand in the purafire which will either help them evolve, or send them running.

We have had hundreds of people come and go from the @gardenofeden.  We have experienced those who breathe in gratitude for that which is shared, those who take the upgrades and make serious evolution, and those whose lives are changed forever because of the awareness they have gained.  Their ability to be open to new possibilities is a gift they give themselves as they do the real work to surpass their own limitations, work through their traumas, and birth themselves anew.  Their experience is one of their choosing, unfolding in alignment with who they are and how they choose to engage the potential.

We have also experienced those who get offended by anything contrary to their own conditioned belief systems.  Some hide their feelings until they can hold them in no longer, eventually burst into rants and raves, or run away as fast as they can.  Others are sure to let everyone know in any manner they chose how “wrong” others are for not thinking and acting in a traditional manner as they do.  Some even try to take others down with them while gasping for air, drowning themselves in their unresolved trauma.

Experiences at the @gardenofeden are vast.  There are extreme realities being experienced because the status quo has been shattered, which rocks people’s worlds and makes them question everything.  Those who are capable of facing their inner demons, and shedding their old skins to live a more free and empowered life of their own choosing, are those who thrive and gain great wisdom during their time here.  Those who choose not to challenge their beliefs, who hold on to their previous lifetimes of trauma without addressing it, and are closed to alternative ways of thinking, are generally out of their comfort zone and have difficulty being around conscious Beings.  They have a tendency to place blame and judgment on others, project their own issues onto others take the heat, focus and pressure away, and try to make others look bad to help them feel better about themselves.

Just as everything in life affects each individual differently, so too does the vortex at the @gardenofeden.  Just as some people are allergic to peanut butter and others are not, the peanut butter and the @gardenofeden are not the problem, but each person’s own individual immune system or personal power and how they receive. react, or interact are the dictators of their experience.  Experiences are as individual as the individuals themselves, each one holding the key to their own reality in every aspect, as their reality unfolds in alignment with who they are and what they bring to the table.

It is very well known that those who choose to reside at the @gardenofeden are on an accelerated evolutionary path.  Just to be here requires a deep desire and willingness to face oneself and work through any issues that arise--and issues will arise!  None of us are immune to the requisite looking in the mirror (and all the constant mirrors the others provide for us staring us in the face) and delving deep to do the real work of self-transformation.  It can be an extremely potent reality to face and is not for the weak of heart. 

We are living in extraordinary times, under extraordinary circumstances, doing extraordinary work.  It can often be easy for people to judge or misunderstand the realities happening here as we live as far from the norm in the traditional sense that most people have ever even considered as possible.  We challenge ourselves to go above and beyond what we have known, not because we have to, but because we find it valuable to evolve and break free from the conditioned ideas of the selves we have known.

Those who join us at the @gardenofeden do so of their own free will.  It is not at our invite to come, and never at our insistence that they stay, or even our desire that they do if it’s not a win/win situation for us all.  Everyone is free to leave at anytime they wish, whether it is because they have received what they came for, are inspired for a new adventure, or are uncomfortable and need to move on.  There are those who hate to leave and can’t wait to come back.  There are those who can’t leave soon enough.  And there are those that may want to leave but pretend that it is our fault things aren’t working out as they wish, create circumstances that basically pushes them to leave as they wanted in the first place, and then blame us for their undesirable experience during their stay. We are no strangers to blame  Most of us were all conditioned to blame as children instead of taking responsibility for ourselves.  Blame is the norm for many, and the deeper their lifetime trauma, generally the  more adamant they are to blame and be vocal about it.

We know this lifestyle is not for everyone and we never pretend that it is.  Not everyone is up for the intensity of the life we live, the freedom we embrace, or the constant shifts required to evolve for the next opportunity arising.  We have however held space for those who’ve called their need to heal, need for our assistance, love, care, friendship and activation of a holistic life of well-being.  We’ve opened our home because we can and we have some profound things to share.  We’ve done it because we wanted to be of service to others, and sometimes we even did it to our own detriment, dealing with trauma of so many people who were living with us, and even sometimes after they left.  Gratefully when they take their trauma and drama out the door, our lives get better because they are gone.  Ultimately we’ve found one really can’t help anyone who is not willing to do the work to help themselves.

Blaming others, circumstances, places, or things for our experience keeps the trauma active, alive and invasive, making it nearly impossible to heal.  Trauma can last a lifetime if we choose to ignore it, live with it unconsciously, defend it, or blame others in spite of it.  If we truly want to be free, I have found that it is imperative to look within and do the real work, taking responsibility for ourselves and everything we are a part of.

We are the creators of our own experience.
No one else is to blame.
Truly live.
Face the trauma.
Take responsibility.
Be true to yourself.  
Look deep within.  
Do the real work.

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