Be good at listening when talking (1)

If you want others to show great respect for you, you should first let them speak freely and learn to listen carefully to others. Because your listening is not only admired, but also the best way to encourage others to speak. Listening is a virtue.

Listening can help you to resolve your battles, deepen your heart, and make others admire you. Listening is a strategy that everyone can use.

At the beginning, Monroe was ordered by President Coolidge to go to Mexico as the new minister. But for a new official who just took office, this is really a hard job. A famous American once commented: "Mexico is the most painful finger in the United States. It is a troublesome thing to be a minister there."

At the beginning of Monroe's heavy responsibility, he felt that the most critical moment of his trip was when he met Mexican President Carlos for the first time. Can he let himself and the United States win the victory? Can he make a good impression on the Mexican president? All of these have to rely on the strategy that Monroe drew up in advance. On the second day of the meeting, Mexican President Carlos said to a friend: "The new American minister is really a eloquent man!"

How did Monroe communicate with the Mexican President? What strategies did he use to make Mexican President Carlos leave such a good impression on him?

It turned out that when he held talks with the Mexican president, he didn't mention the official serious events that the minister should mention, but by the way, he praised the craftsmanship of the local chef and ate more bread and dishes.

Later, he asked President Carlos to talk about the current situation in Mexico, what new measures the Mexican cabinet has taken for the development of the country, whether the President himself is planning anything now, and what views President Carlos has on the future situation.

At the beginning, Monroe used a strategy that everyone could use. He said these words, just to make President Jeancard feel relaxed and happy. At the beginning of Monroe, he encouraged President Karl to express his views, let him speak first, and listened attentively. In this process, he showed reverence for each other's interests, thus improving each other's self-esteem and self-confidence.

When we read the biographies or autobiographies of successful people, we can find that many successful people are the beneficiaries of listening strategies. In the process of his success, every successful person must have the credit of listening to others. Therefore, it is very important to learn to listen to others.

John Hay is a famous American politician. He can not only give a wonderful speech, but also be an excellent listener. When he listens to other people's conversations, he always makes an obvious show of respect for each other and is very focused.

Anyone who talked with him, as long as they sit together for half an hour, will feel that they have been conquered by John Hay, and at the same time, they are encouraged by him inadvertently and move forward unconsciously.

Mr. House was the vice president when President Wilson was in office, and his work was excellent. A friend of his once commented: "Mr. House has always been a good listener. He can become Wilson's vice president, probably because of his listening attitude. Because when House and Wilson met in new york for the first time, he won Wilson's favor with his good listening strategy and attracted Wilson's attention. "

All leaders pay attention to and are good at using listening art. These leaders will not only show great interest in other people's speeches, but also show this feeling truly.

However, in this bustling society, although many people understand the important position of this strategy, they sometimes encounter opportunities for development. However, they still lose the opportunity by neglecting to make good use of it.

Many young people who have visited famous people all over the world have felt this way. Those big people don't like themselves. Big people think they are wrong-minded or careless people. They don't understand why they feel this way.

In fact, the real reason lies in themselves. None of them can listen to the interviewee's conversation quietly. They just keep thinking about what they should say next, and report that they can't listen attentively to what the other person said. Many important people have said that they think that a good listener is more satisfying than a talkative one, so listening ability is more important than talking ability.

People who complain often, even the least easy to please, often soften and give in to a patient and sympathetic listener. Such listeners will keep silent when they are scolded by others for finding fault in their eggs.

Example: new york Telephone Company found that it met one of the most vicious users who spoke ill of the operator. He was furious, threatened to uproot the telephone, refused to pay some fees, and said they were out of nothing. He wrote a letter to the newspaper, made numerous complaints to the public service committee, and sued the telephone company several times.

Finally, one of the most capable "mediators" of the telephone company was sent to meet the troublesome user. The "mediator" listened quietly, letting the furious user spit out all his dissatisfaction. The "mediator" of the telephone company listened patiently and kept saying' yes', sympathizing with his dissatisfaction. The "mediator" narrated his experience in Carnegie's class:

He talked endlessly, while I listened for almost three hours. Then, I continued to listen. I met him four times, and before the end of the fourth meeting, I had become a member of an organization he wanted to set up, which he called "Telephone User Protection Association". I'm still a member of this organization, and as far as I know, I'm the only member of this organization in the world except that man.

I listened and sympathized with every argument he made in these meetings. He had never seen a telephone company talk to him like this, so he became friendly. At the first meeting, I didn't even put forward the reason why I went to see him, neither did the second or third time. But the fourth time, the matter was completely solved, he paid all the bills and withdrew his complaint to the Public Service Commission.

There is no doubt that the man thinks himself to be a sacred justice advocate, defending the rights of the masses so as not to be exploited. But in fact, what he wants is a kind of important person's feeling. He first gets this kind of important person's feeling by swearing and complaining. But when he got this feeling from a representative of the telephone company, the complaint that was made out of nothing went up in smoke.