Fake It Till You Make It

A beautiful sunny autumn day and I’m feeling super cheery. Decided to wear my bright blue coat, special sneakers that I cherish, and even put on a red lipstick to reflect my happy-go-lucky mood. Are you buying it?

Yes? GOOD. But it’s all a lie.

In actuality I slept until 2pm because I felt like today is not my day and that I’m just not even gonna try. I woke up a few times prior to that and just rolled over to continue sleep. Fuck this day. Not having it. Not today. Nope. I’ll skip today and try again tomorrow, okay?

Finally I woke up and decided I gotta pull myself together, no matter how shitty I feel, can’t go on like this.

I got up, took a quick shower and did my makeup. I know red lips make me look way more alive, so I thought that is what’ll distract from my moodyness. Next up I picked out clothing I feel the most comfortable in, but don’t look frumpy. Fave jeans and a hoodie for comfort, and nicer outer layer to look put together. The blue coat is magical, it seems to suit my skin colour amazingly and I always get compliments on it so it was an easy to choice for a grumpy day. Underneath I had a t-shirt saying ”antisocial” as a bit of a joke to myself as I went out smiling to people, knowing that nobody else will see my shirt.

I think I even fooled myself and by the time I did the last look on the mirror and headed out, I had almost forgotten how shitty I feel. It’s amazing what you can achieve with a little (war)paint and a good outfit, transformative really. And for me, it’s not to make other people perceive me better, but for me to see myself in better light, which in turn will then make me feel more positive and that is what other people will pick up on.