Reflections
It was more than Tom could have ever dreamed of. They had only been together a short period of time, but every day seemed to be better than the last. Was this that feeling of jubilation people in love would so excitedly speak of? He felt like a child again. The responsibilities of the world flowing out from him like a single leaf floating down a riverbank. He looked into her eyes and knew he had found someone who actually complimented his existence. Her hazel brown pupils staring back with a wide, wild expectation of what was to come next for them both.
Beth was never much of a talker, but today was different. Today was not your normal, run-of-the-mill daily routine. He drew closer and, much to her delight, uttered the words she had longed to hear for what appeared to be an eternity. "Will you marry me?".
The sheer joy on her face was all the answer he could have ever hoped for. She grabbed him and they hugged for what seemed like hours. After all the adversity they had faced through their relationship thus far and especially before the car crash had...
The world spun back into his mind like a whirlwind through a barn. How long had this lucidity lasted? Tom looked down at his withered arms. His blue, thick veins pulsating underneath a thin film of skin. He was holding her dress, the one she was wearing the day he had proposed to her. Reality was now a blurred haze of depression and guilt. A never ending spiral of contempt for himself that would ultimately lead to his demise. Maybe this was for the best, he thought.
That fateful night, the celebrations continuing into the early hours. She was only a short drive away from being home before her father returned home from work. A mere ten minutes, max. Just enough time for one more drink. The feelings of giddiness he experienced were like falling through the clouds, a constant rush of adrenaline, thoughts hard to focus on. Only the unencumbered enjoyment of these moments of pure bliss.
But time being the enemy that it always was, they had to make a move sooner or later. Her father dare not find out about their "chance" meetings like this or there would be hell to pay for both of them, make no mistake. They made their way clumsily to the car, Tom still fumbling for the keys in his trouser pockets. His head swam as he opened the car door on a bleary fifth attempt. Being drunk on love had never felt this good. Before they knew it, he was driving down the quiet, country roads in the confines of their quaint village. A left, then sharp right ahead of them and his betrothed will be home, safe and sound.
In a small 4-worded sentence, his entire future had been penned out for the rest of his life. Their children, their children's children. A whole new family from her side (resting in the hope that father-in-law comes round to at least tolerating the situation. For starters, anyway). Five years together and their undying love soon to be bonded through a diamond ring hidden away in a small velvet box behind a bookshelf at home.
He never heard the blood curling scream that scattered the calm of his thoughts. Never saw the bright flashing lights flare up before him. Never felt the impact of the eighteen wheeler skidding around the corner. Metal against metal, flesh against machine. His thoughts turned to blackness. A single moment frozen in time. Gone and yet here forever.
Reality had returned with a vengeance. Tom sat slumped in his wheelchair, startled by the sound of his mother ascending up the stairs to administer the feeding tube. Life was now one continuous moment, that began with the initial impact and has never relented since. He watched the dust particles shimmering through the window on this bright sunny day in his quiet little village. Tom glared down in disgust at the useless pair of appendages that had once assisted in carrying his body around, now hanging there, as lifeless as his empty soul. The most primitive form of existence was how he envisaged himself now.
As the clock ticked endlessly away, he could only wonder how many more days he had left to endure that nightmarish moment. For Tom, time had ceased to have a beginning or end, just a vague collection of memories strewn into the winds of his minds eye.
Death had already taken his soul, leaving all that was left over for the earthen ground to collect.
