I feel indebted

in #newlife7 years ago (edited)


Night, show your silence I was reflecting in the dark
It's been a long journey that I've taken, I have seen many events.
And now I feel indebted to fill the independence
Though it is only through singing that I breathe the struggle.
When I started to grow old the days are getting shorter
It is time to serve
Sacrifice for my people
Penetrate the delay.
When I was born the war was over.

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A very thoughtful poem, I think it grows more powerful as it progresses. That being said, the first line I think could be made stronger to provide precedence for the final two lines. Perhaps even tie in something about a new dawn at the end!

"Night, reveal your silence. I've seen the reflections in the dark,"
Something like that, food for thought!

I'm curious on your thoughts about my recent work, I think you'll like it!
https://steemit.com/poetry/@sixshot/last-desserts

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