Be a person with attitude

Let's start with a concept: the aberling paradox.

One hot summer, a couple in Texas invited their wife's parents to play at home.

It wasn't long before my father-in-law suggested eating at a place called aberlin.

His wife immediately Fuhe said: "good, this attention is very good."

My husband is a little reluctant because it's too hot and Albertine is far away from them. He really doesn't want to go

However, he was a little worried that he would not be agreeable when he said it

"I can do it. I'll see if your mother wants to."

His mother-in-law said, "since you can, of course I will."

So the four went to the restaurant in the hot sun and found that the food was terrible.

Back home, everyone was tired and angry.

My father-in-law said hypocritically, "well, it's pretty good, isn't it?"

At this time, we finally can't help it. My mother-in-law said that she didn't want to go anywhere, but she didn't want to spoil everyone's interest when she saw that other people were so excited.

The husband was even more angry and said that he strongly resisted at the beginning, but he only agreed when he saw that his wife and father-in-law wanted to go.

The wife jumped up and said that she thought about it all for her father and didn't want to go at all.

Finally, it was his father-in-law's turn

I don't want to go to that ghost place either, but I think it's boring for everyone to stay at home, so I just mention it casually, but everyone's interest is so high, which makes it difficult for him to ride a tiger

You see, we all think that we are thinking about others. However, in the end, everyone is not satisfied. Sometimes the so-called push is just the assumption that we are replacing others.

As long as you are in a group and have some social activities, you will inevitably encounter the aberling paradox.

For example, when a few friends want to have dinner together, many people dare not express their true thoughts.

When others have a suggestion, they are against it, but they are habitually obedient.

They don't want to be too self-conscious and worry about getting opposition from others.

In fact, maybe your suggestion represents the opinions of the majority. Because you have no attitude, you not only lose the right to choose your likes and dislikes, but also make the group fall into a less ideal choice.

Therefore, as a mature social person, you should dare to put forward your own opinions, and even dare to put forward objections.

That's what I taught my son. I often told him when he was with friends.

If you want to play something, don't care whether others like it or not. If you don't like it, you should say it clearly instead of simply following the majority's opinions.

Today, I went to the amusement park with some friends and children.

Some of our parents took it for granted that they would like the dolphin show in the ocean world, so they began to queue up to buy tickets.

All of a sudden, the adults asked our sons:

"Do you really want to see the dolphin show? I don't really want to see it. These performances are similar. I've seen them many times in other places, so they don't have any special features. "

At this time, several other children also said that they didn't want to see the dolphin show, but wanted to go to the plant labyrinth.

I asked them, why didn't you say that in the beginning?

They said that they thought we adults wanted to see it, so they acquiesced

You see, children are naive enough. Adults come here just to make children happy?

Fortunately, my son insisted on his attitude in time, which made us not fall into the dilemma of "I thought I was thinking about you".

Therefore, when dealing with people, we should not be too willing to compromise and give in everywhere.

As a result, they sacrifice their preferences, and the other party may not appreciate them.

This is how the tragedy of many relationships begins.

More importantly, when you become a person with an attitude and speak out your will bravely, you will not be "habitually" ignored by others and will not become a transparent person.

You will have an invisible potential energy in the crowd, which can pull the external network where the influence is located.