My Enigma

Greetings Steemian's,

This is another one of my "autonomous" free writes, as I call them. This one was very intense, I let the words loose, and tried not to think about whether or not anything was in context. Admittedly, some things may be out of context, but this was a powerful one.

I've not even begun to decipher the meaning, but it seems to be packed with some very harsh feelings towards people who have hurt me. That's fine, it makes the healing process easier to let these things out.

Oftentimes my mind is very much conflicted with things I do not understand about human psychology. narcissism doesn't bother me as much as sociopathology, (I think there are some commonalities between the two) and when you've been ravaged by a sociopath, it can be hard to process. I have become better at dealing with this hurt. I used to go psycho and become dangerous in the past, due to poor coping mechanisms, coupled with addiction and PTSD. Hurt turned into outward rage.

But anyway , here is a free write that took approximately 7 minutes from beginning to end. Enjoy?

Pixabay

In fine fashion they are,
Little lines of duality,
Conforming,
Your reality,
Don't step out,
hold on to some clout,
You go this way,
And I'll go that way,
You think it really matters?
Your deceptive little flatters?
So easily fooled,
Was the man of the past,
Now you act aghast,
As I fly past,
I know,
It wasn't supposed to be this way,
I'm right,
Can never be wrong,
Have we not been here before,
You opened the door,
Now you must choose,
If it's win or lose,
Oh what a circular ruse,
The placidity,
Is admittedly nice,
Let's stop for a moment and take a breath.
It doesn't have to be this way you know,
If you could only let it go,
But no,
You must show,
The ever pressing ego,
Bestow,
A burning afterglow,
And rub it around,
And around.
That didn't work,
Now what?
I know,
This is going to be an awesome show!
I'll set the drag a little looser this time,
And perhaps we'll get this right,
I know it wasn't right,
But damn another sleight?
I think it's time to drop,
before defense mechanisms start to slop,
Just remember,
It doesn't stop,
The clock?
Oh oh oh, such a sod,
Writhing turbulently,
In unmet expectations,
So urgently,
But no,
I
Must
Not
Over
Think

Seemingly
Endless
Empathy

My
Enigma

👁️



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