THE GREATEST UNAVOIDABLE VIRTUE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Recently, I have developed so much attention to the many complains of our married folks and if you have been following me you will really find some of those posts about marriage very useful.
Earlier today, I got a call from a friend that just lost her marriage and while investigating into “WHY” the misfortune, I discovered how much a little display of patience would have saved the relationship for the better, thus, this very short piece.

I like to start by saying that patience is the closest cousin to tolerance but recently I have been exchanging patience with long-suffering. It is one of the greatest qualities if not the greatest quality to be desired in a relationship. I like to state it categorically here that nobody was born with patience but everyone that displays that virtue cultivated it here on earth, maybe this explains why people often say that he/she doesn’t have the patience to do this or that.
• Patience in my context is giving your spouse or partner the benefit of doubt without judging or condemning him or her too quickly.
• I personally feel that patience is seen in your ability to see the best in people “partner” despite your faults and foolishness
• Patience is your ability to hold back punishment and revenge. (I have talked to people that after wasting time with me in talking therapy session, still tell you boldly that they will only forgive their partner after taking their revenge)
• Patience is not having unrealistic expectations of people (I am had someone call me abusive names because he gave me instructions I didn’t get correctly at first trial but the same person is proud of me today). Learn how to give people a second chance by believing that even that your spouse you have given up on can improve.
• Patience believes that quick and hasty judgments will always deny the world of the opportunity of seeing the best of people.
I have in my few years of counselling seen many people regret deeply, because having seen other marriages and relationships with new partners, they now feel they should have been a bit more with their former partners.

I like you or any friend you know to escape this trend of regrets caused by the lack of patience. For me, I think impatience is immaturity.
Listen, I think that the best of people are hidden in the rubbles of imperfections of diverse kinds, and it can only take an integral aspect of love which is patience to see the best in people.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NOW!

1. I like you to make a note of all those impatience actions in your life that you can remember and consciously try to correct them
2. Make a list of all the people in your life; partner, colleague, father, mother, friends, etc. that you have been impatience with and try to amend with them.