my wife left me

My wife went to Mexico, she smelled cigarette smoke and got very angry. Why did she get angry? Because for almost two years I was unable to work due to a failed knee surgery and she couldn't believe I would spend money when she was supporting me.
And now she doesn't even respond to my messages, I took all of her things and threw them away, and I told her I was going to rent out the house. My son and her are coming back on May 10th and I didn't leave anything of theirs because when she didn't respond to me, what did I say? That she should forgive me and that I miss her, and she doesn't respond. So I think she will stay there or I don't know, but I can't stay in this uncertainty. Why doesn't she respond to a single message in 10 days? It seems she is very offended or doesn't want to be with me anymore. I'm desperate, it doesn't seem like something so serious that she would abandon me, but it seems her patience has run out.

She had saved up some money and I threw all of her clothes in the trash, and the money I told her I found, $400, and she doesn't respond. So I think she will stay there and never come back, and I drank alcohol because my suffering is so great. I can't believe she abandoned me like this. I sent a message to her brother, who paid for her and my son's trip, and nobody responds to me. So I think they abandoned me. I think I deserve it because I was a bad husband and everything gets paid back in this life. She was a fantastic woman.

I had knee surgery and for almost two years I didn't recover, and that made me lose her respect. And now that she went with her family, who paid for the whole trip to Mexico, and I'm in Argentina, so my life took a 180 degree turn. I send her messages and she doesn't respond at all. What do you think I can do? Just accept that she doesn't want me anymore or something to win her back? Because I sent messages that I burned her photos, threw away her clothes and told her I was going to sell the house or rent it out, and she doesn't respond.

I had even found her hidden salary and I sent her the photos and she doesn't respond. So I don't know what to do, I think she's not interested in me anymore and I think she'll stay there in Mexico, and I'm here in Argentina. So I'll have to move on with my life and I can't work, so I don't really know what to do. What do you think? Should I sell my house or rent it out so I can generate funds to live? Because she helped me for 1 year by giving me food and I think she got tired, since she discovered me smoking and that drove her crazy, and she told me she doesn't want me like that. But she put up with infidelities and even me doing drugs, but it seems her patience ran out.

And now I don't have a wife anymore. God doesn't like divorce and only separation for hitting her, and I never hit her, or not allowing her to be religious, and I never stopped her, or not providing financially, and despite being disabled, I contributed money from Steemit and other places, and helped by fixing up the house from all its problems. So I think her patience ran out and I lost her. And she was a good woman, she took care of me for almost 30 years, but she couldn't take it anymore. By going to Mexico and telling them how bad I am, I became a monster to her and them. So now there's no going back, I'll have to live alone for the rest of my life because a new relationship would be impossible after so much love for her.

I'm desperate, I can't sleep and I have to bear it alone until my son doesn't respond to me nor my brother-in-law. Smoking seems to have been an unforgivable sin, that not only harms health but my soul and feelings. I don't know how it will continue, I don't know what will happen, but I wake up crying and with immense heartache that I try to sing and be happy, but only sadness and pain appear. What do you recommend I do? I need help.