A nonfiction freewrite. Dreaming of a white Christmas.
Inside, the siren call slacked off, to be replaced by a single note of harmony.
Harmony? Who am I kidding? That single note is the relentless buzz of tinnitus that is my constant companion.
Only during the fleeting moments during my attempts with a growing list of wanna be guru guided youtube gratitude meditations, that I have been desperately listening to on youtube, have I ever found myself even close to deluding myself into a harmonious embracing loving state, with those high pitched squealing banshee calls.
But everything is relative. As I succumb to the paralysing numbness, or is it a state of denial? Regarding the increased frequency of sirens screaming up the hill, the growing disconcertion regarding the awareness of the creeping fires have proved a much more effective distraction from the comparatively safe buzzing in my head.
The radical lesson in gratitude and real life opportunity to "giving into the unknown, and to the things out of my control, " doesn't fail in delivering an equal dose of irony. Invading my insular existence, the smoke thickening as to becoming an almost tangible curtain, blanketing everything.
"Yeah. Not renting saves me a bucketload of money."
Almost a year ago to the day we bought this house, or more accurately a mortgage. Our first home. Purchased not where we dreamed we would live or within easy circumstances, but who ever gets their plan A in life?
But it is ours. It has been a damn hard year, I can't believe how fast the time has flown, although too many moments had their own strangely agonising time freeze. In this moment I feel an altogether different pace, right now I feel like I am moving in slow motion, disconnected from the task at hand.
We bundled the kids and the dog into the car and drove away, hoping that we return to it before Christmas, or more so that we return to it still standing. As we drive away I wonder about the things I grabbed on impulse, the things I thought were important, or sentimental or valuable.
Sentient beings... check, pre-digital photographs... check, kids first milestones and achievements, and letters to those magical beings in stories that light up our holidays and past-times, you know the ones, they feature in stories about beings better than humans, those that deliver hope and belief,... check.
Said magical beings shopping.... crap! I left half of that behind, oh well, we will be back in time I'm sure, and we will probably not be returning to them turned to ash. What are the chances? Those things happen to other people, on the news.
A broken toe
Well, as this week's freewrite is completely nonfictional, I am taking the liberty of amending this slightly.
A broken rib.
Several actually. Spontaneous rib fractures! But that is just a whiney side note. I'm sick of hearing myself talking about my health or lack there of, so after the next sentence I will inflict you with no more on the subject.
Who the fuck get rickets in a sunburnt country? It is 48 degree of burning sun outside and the entire country is on fire.
No shit. My country is on fire and my house is in the path of a fire that has been burning and growing and moving across the land for over a month.
Source https://sentinel.ga.gov.au
Sitting in the back seat of the car, wedged between an anxious 28 kilogram Labrador "puppy" I attempt to catch the offerings of a motion sensitive 5 year old before the dog does. I struggle to utilise my radical acceptance and mindful denial techniques in an attempt to distract from the fact that I felt my ribs shift and re-snap as the dog again lands in my lap only to remain for a matter of seconds before she turns on the spot and repeats.
Half way to my in-laws house, in a confined space with the people and pooch I love most in the world, I happen upon true gratitude.
Everything we drove away from is just stuff. I am blessed to be typing this account of my recent road trip to you as I watch the ring of fire creep ever closer to our home on the satellite map, observed from the safety of the spare room that is always available to us, surrounded by my most precious treasures. My children and husband.
And the pooch who is making our stay just that little bit more challenging... but yes I love her too.
I've sung the carol before, but I have never really dreamt of a white Christmas before. I've always been accustomed to blistered sun burn and sleepless hot nights at this time of year.
But I've gotta say, a spot of rain would be pretty awesome right now.
Freewrite prompts in bold italics , thanks to @mariannewest.
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/weekend-freewrite-12-21-2019-part-1-the-first-sentence
I sent you my rain and all the best for 2020
!trdo 💕
Posted using Partiko Android
Australia gets hot when everything else gets cold @girlbeforemirror but I hope you and your family is safe despite of the bush fires. I also hope that your health won't get too much of a burden unlike mine where last year I can still walk, now I am just wheelchair bound if I needed to go somewhere, pain all over and it gets worse. Take care Marge. Regards to family.
That's some fact-check to put things in perspective.
Sorry about the dramatic situation you're living. I wish I could send you whatever rain we get here (Cumaná is a rather arid zone). Ironically everytime it rains we panic and wish it didn't because our roof is a mess and everything under it gets wet.
Great #freewrite; it puts non-fiction on a different level.
Blessings to you and your family. Wish you the best xmas you can get.
Thanks a lot for sharing the situation you and your family are in @girlbeforemirror, speaking from someone who did lose his home, though not by fire, losing everything is extremely hard, but once you have greived what you lost it also makes it easier to start over, your burdens are not weighed down by what you had, but enlightened by the potential for a future that you are free to shape as you wish, now I very much hope that your house will make it, but if not it is not the end, just a new beginning, keep up your great work, it's awesome.
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Wow wee! Now thats a Christmas.
Please update us on the fires, omg. You are a Boss. And, an Awesome freewrite.
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