Steemlord - I've caught a sickness

The story continues today as we travel to the Island of Crete to secure a gift so amazing as to appease the High Priest of Himling when through the ether a message is beamed into the head of the Loyal Blacksmith. The message is direct from the Eye of Merlin and Sir Knight himself. He tells me that my crazy Uncle Bullithicus has fed me pies made from the organs of Grey Scale sufferers and I must find a healer at once.

The now scared blacksmith bellows to ChooXena flying above her on unicorn Swift wind that he needs to find a healer immediately as he has the sickness. She should continue to Crete and he will catch up with her shortly.

As Gohba powers his vessel back to Himling, he despatches crow after crow asking for help and assistance. One crow in particular is sent to the fearless Battlewom asking that he keep a watchful eye over ChooXena in his absence in case anything should happen to him.

Upon arriving back at Himling, the blacksmith storms through the door of the nearest bulk billing healer he could find. He sees the waiting room full of old ladies and vagrants looking for their daily potions. He tells the attendant, in a loud and menacing voice that he has the Grey Scale and that he needs to see the healer immediately. The attendant, in a gruff voice with plenty of old lady attitude (kinda like Chooxena after 7pm) that its first come first served. The blacksmith (having watched and mastered ChooXenas death stare) looks at the room. Within seconds the room is cleared and the blacksmith tells the attendant it looks like he's next.

As the doctors examines the blacksmith, he notices that no scale has taken hold yet and knows how to cure it. Gohba is advised the he needs the crabs of a nobleman and the blood of a lunatic. Once he has consumed those, he needs the genuine affection of a beautiful creature to cure his sickness.

The blacksmith bounds out of the healers huts in a brilliant mood, he knew exactly where he could get all 3 of those things. First on his list was to find Lord Percy, that toff is riddled with crabs and he's the most noble man in the land. So off to the local brothel he trudged. While Gohba was fond of the ladies, he hated brothels as he suffered from an incurable but non infectious disease that prevented him from using wenches. Tightassiomous left him lonely at times, but also ensured he stayed rich and healthy, unlike his poor friends Lord Percy.

The girl Lord Percy had chosen

Upon entering the brothel, he enquired to which room Lord Percy was enjoying himself and quickly bound up the grubby stairs to the room. As he burst in, Lord Percy recognised the blacksmith and jumped clear of the wench, only to knock himself unconcious on the bed post. Gohba roared with laughter as he realised that Lord Percy must have assumed the he had come to finish what was started in the bedroom of the Madame Arly.
Gohba quickly shaved Lord Percy to make sure he caught as many of the little creatures as possible, then left him a note apologizing for the confusion, as well as the missing pubes.

With the crabs of a nobleman safely stored inside a fresh gourd, he made his way back to the local blacksmith shop where he knew the biggest twit was waiting for him waiting to get his Armour adjusted. This twit had accused the blacksmith of sleeping with his horse, and as such knew what he had to do.
When he arrived the twit sure enough was there rambling about inane crap and upon seeing Gohba went off on a spiel about fixing his Armour. Gohba swiftly slit the twits throat and filled another gourd with the rich blood.

With the 2 ingredients safely in hand, Gohba hurried back to his ship and set sail for Crete to find ChooXena to find the affections of a beautiful creature.

Once arriving back in Crete, he sent word for the location of Chooxena but he was able to track the sonic booms of gas, Much like that of a battery of Chinese cannons, that Swift Wind was letting off as they carried on with the mission. As he drew closer, he thought it prudent to consume the first 2 ingredients so as not to disgust the beautiful creature. First with the crabs, then washed down with the twit blood.

As he met with ChooXena and Swiftwind they sat down for a warm drink, and he explained his situation. Gohba thought with all his heart that ChooXena was the beautiful creature that he was looking for, and there was affection in their embrace but nothing changed. As Gohba stood back, his heart sunk. As he turned to leave for exile back in Himling, he heard the soft whinny of the unicorn who had a tear rolling down it nose. Swiftwind galloped up and licked the downtrodden blacksmith and rested her head on his chest.

With that, the sickness lifted, his skin cleared and his spirits soared. It wasn't ChooXena that he was searching for, rather Swiftwind was the most beautiful creature in the lands, and the affection shown by the unicorn was completely genuine. Gohba vowed never to harass the unicorn again and the unicorn agreed to lay off the cabbage.

The mission to find the gift for the High Priest of Himling could continue with the dynamic duo back together.