The Little People in Your Life
Nobody knows the things I have been through – and I do not know the extremities of the things that others have been through… We can each only speak for our own journey. Mine (as anybody who has followed my posts will know) has been wild and rocky, but I don’t regret any of it… well almost nothing!
Life might have led me down some (let’s just call them) interesting roads, but I love looking back at those moments (good or bad) because they were all experiences. I can remember how the smallest things had the biggest impact on my life… like the roles people played in movies for instance.
I was about 15, and I went to go and watch “Natural Born Killers” on the big screen. Well, I thought this was the coolest movie I had ever seen, and the fact that they were murderers never even entered my mind! They were romantic and above all else… super cool! Hmmmm….. Makes you think, doesn't it!
As much as I can sit here now as an adult and declare that I have no regrets, I cannot honestly say that a lot of what I was exposed to during my growing up years, was even mildly appropriate! However, much of this is out of our control, even with our own kids - right now!
We can only do what we can, and that is about it… a large portion of it is beyond our hands –and that is how the cookies bake - It is a recipe where we have (some) influence – and then not so much! So when you grab “them cookies” out of the oven and they don’t look quite as you expected… don’t act so darn surprised!
Just as you want your kids to remember that you too were once young (stupid and naive) – do you not think it appropriate that you too, remember that they are young and still learning and not always equipped to make the wisest decisions!
What are you on about Jayne…?! The details, that’s what. Those little things that nobody pays attention to. Those incidents and moments that are often so trivial to us as adults, are precisely the opposite to kids… they are very impressionable. They steer, shape and influence them. From the television programs, YouTube videos, kids at school, parents, teachers and just about everything else! Children (of all ages) are sponges.
Not unlike the movie I mentioned prior… It impacted me! It showed me that doing what they did was acceptable – which it absolutely wasn’t. (Granted, I can see the wood for the trees now) – but I did not at the time, nor for many years after… and I was not living in a generation saturated with such aggressive influence!
No, I grew up in a generation where technology was only claiming stake to the throne when I was hitting my late teens… my foundation had already been laid! – And look at how crazy I am! Lol
My point? Pay more attention to the things going on in your children’s lives! Stop ignoring them and shoving them to one side! – When they talk - listen. Ask them what happened in their day! Ask them about their friends and what they do during break time.
Get stuck into their minds, thoughts, feelings and lives!…. You will learn a lot - Which as a parent is something you really should have a handle on! Kids these days do not grow up at the same pace we did and you would do well to remember that. Everything in their world is on fast forward.
Don’t miss the fleeting moments that present themselves as opportunities for you to truly become a part of their world and therefore affording you the opportunity to help steer their ship. We can never “force” their direction – but we can help them along the way of their independent journey.
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Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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And suddenly you find yourself on the fragile edge of exercising too much control and leaving too little room for manoeuvre...
I understand what you mean. My way was to give clear information about good and bad things that can happen, to prepare for them. And then to let the kids do it. I wasn't a cluck.
As I've mentioned before: out of the four, two now describe their childhood and youth as perfect and great. One of them would have liked me to provide more framework and support and one is still thinking about it... ;-))
Well, like most things in life - a level of balance has to be struck and the realisation and/or acknowledgement of "when and where" that balance is an art which the parent needs to master. Having involvement and imparting knowledge needn't mean controlling - but yes, perhaps not always easy for the adult to give the knowledge without enforcing the action, but definitely not impossible.
lol thats sweet.
Good writing friend, in life you have to have people who are referents, whether good or bad, but who are like a path to follow.
Hugs
I could not agree more @antonioeviesart :) Thanks so much for stopping by to share your thoughts!
Hope you have a wonderful Tuesday! <3
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xoxo