Dew in the Soul

Dew is still reluctant to dry. On the eastern horizon of the sun with its golden color began to appear. The cool weather of the morning in the summer, is very pleasant and calms the muscles and nerves that are not too tense with a stack of activity.
The air blew slowly to play the foliage insrumen, creating a soft tune, then accompanied by the melodious song of birds that began to dance on the branches of the trees.

On the other end. Yes, in the end that is unattainable by my senses. Do you know what I'm feeling? Do you understand I keep a million memories that keep poking around in the corner of my memory? Do you feel the same with me?
Yes, you must feel it. Far on the other end the sun must have shone and the birds had been singing. Save a word I dare not say with my text. Longing.

I dare not say it even though my text is desperate. Even in silence every night, I only entrust the longing to the faint night winds. Then make my neck stood up when I remember your gaze, remembering your smile.
Bored. Yes. I'm so bored with this feeling. But do you think I can just delete it? Is that an easy thing for you? I do not know. I can not reach your mind, let alone your heart. Your existence is either in the end where I do not know. But I always believe, you feel the same with me.



At the other end, staring at the morning sun and longing for me. And I believe you are the same as me. You are afraid to say that honesty is through the wind that might convey it to me.
You're selfish indeed. Taking him away from me and leaving without leaving time to share his memories. But what's your fault? Not. Of course not. Then whose fault? Is it wrong? If that's the one I'm thinking about, why am I so tormented?
Is this their fault? Why should I constantly blame them? Is this so-called never accept reality? Ah! how stupid am I. How unhappy I am.

But can I gratefully forget you? Can that gratitude wipe away all your shadows?
I just shook my head. Even decades I have tried it and I always fail. Ah, sometimes it seems like I am a teenage girl who is always complicated about the hearts and feelings that are not clear. Not immature and immature. Am I immature to address my story with you? Maybe it is.

What about gray hair that makes my head turn white? Have not grown me until now?
When will you answer all my questions? Hey! Why are you just silent? Can not you tell me to sneak you here?
If you did not take all the dew from my soul first, do I still like now? Can I drip the dew on a man other than you? But unfortunately you already take it to dry even not left for anyone other than you.
When will you keep your promises first? Why are you just silent? Do you also think that I am so naive and stupid as people think about me?
So wicked are you to me? Please answer. I'm tired of waiting. Even the sun and the birds are tired of seeing me every morning contemplating you.

Do not you see me from the other end? Are not you tired of looking at me frozen here?
Where is my promise I always look forward to? When will you pick me up? Even until almost before my old masses you never come. Have you forgotten? Or are you with him? Can you love her more than you love me? Or did you never love me at all? Even something that keeps me going is just a lie.
Ah, is that so stupid? How can I wait for you who may never even think of me at all. Decades. Yes, for about twenty-five years I spent my time waiting, in false dreams about you, with your rhymes still clearly reflected in my imagination.
Do not you know how heavy it is for me? Do you think it's light like the wind then? Hey! Why are you still silent? I gave you a hard time hoping to find an answer, but still. I only find your silent shadow and can only mourn my folly.
No answer. Which I found every morning just the same. Your ever-present shadow with the sun and the great little birds trying to kill the loneliness.

And I can only guess. Without knowing which is the right answer. And when I look around the place where I stand. The morning has started again. Takes me to reality that I have to make. Take care of my family and children I love so much, the two remaining girls of my dreams and your dreams. I make it happen with others. I get my kids from someone else. But the reality is that these two girls are the rest of our shared dreams that I am trying to bring back to you in your nostalgia.
They are my place to scratch a new morning dew that can cool my soul after you wipe it dry. They are the only reason I am in this alienation. Do not you ever understand? How strange am I with someone who has now become the father of my children?
I never intended to share the dew with him. Maybe even now God is punishing me. Punish me with sorrow by always wondering at your shadow.

Have I become a good wife for her? Ah, of course not yet. I have never been a good wife. Even my sin is so great to her. Keeping you in my memory. But can I remove it? No. Many times even thousands of times I have tried it. There are more clearly your shadow. Kian appears and transforms into a ghost in every step I take.

But I do not want to keep on sneaking you. Thanks for all the memories ever engraved. Thank you for the time we had passed. Everything taught me life though I can not really understand. Keep him there with you. Do not mind my weeping here. Be happy there. Drop the dew in their souls without needing you to return the dew to my soul.
Maybe this is my way. Which I have to pass without you. Maybe this is my destiny, which I have to learn more so that I can take it in the air.
And I understand. In fact all the ships that are going to dock at the port of destination, there are one or several ships that must be stranded. Maybe one of them.