The Coffee Shop

I walked into the coffee shop and ordered for a latte and some bagels, and walked back to my seat, opened my laptop and turned it on. A little girl and her mom walked into the store; the girl ran all the way to the playpen at the opposite end, while her mom ordered food.

I clasped my hands on my chin and watched the little girl play with the vast assortment of colorful toys scattered around the playpen -- she squealed in delight; raised her hands to the air and let out many contented laughs; her eyes sparkled and danced with the joy that can only come from little children, untainted by life. I watched her pick up one of the toys that she couldn't operate and take to her mother.

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She reminded me a lot of my younger self; she gave the toy to her mother who helped her open it. By this time, I couldn't help but draw parallels between my life and her life when we were both this age, I felt in my heart and gut the tell-tale palpitations that always accompanied any memory of my childhood. Those memories were a little bad for me... there were like fast demons that I couldn't evade no matter how much I tried. The truth is that I have bad memories; they are from my childhood, and it seems, no matter how much I try, I can't run fast enough from them.

That got me thinking about memory in general, and specifically: Can Bad Memories Be Erased?

The Nature Of Memories

Whether it is from a terrible breakup, a violent attack, an out-of-character-cringe-inducing behavior, a sexual assault, a bad food choice, missing deadlines e.t.c. some memories can haunt us for the rest of our lives.

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I am sure not the only one who has facepalm moments. I have a lot of those and these days, I tell myself "come on! Don't think too much of that - give yourself a break - just don't do that again" in order to reduce my internal tension and shame. It works well, but I have an embarrassing abundance of these episodes and it's not just funny at times.

What if there was a way we could completely forget all the bad things that hurt us all together? Can science erase your bad memories?

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Memory is an incredible process; scientists used to believe that it was more like a filing cabinet and that particular memories were stored in different sections of the brain, we now know this is incorrect: each memory is a brain-wide process. If you end up remembering this article, it is because while you were reading it, cells powered by electricity in your brain were wiring, rewiring and creating new links, neural pathways, connections e.t.c in your mind; which is further intertwined with all your memories, but yet, very distinct. This process is partially facilitated by proteins in your brain.

The memory of yesterday can be bent to fit in with the reality of today

So, what if the proteins are not available? Simply put: no memories can be made! Scientists have tested and proved this hypothesis by giving animals drugs that prevent the formation of these proteins. At the end of the day, the animals were not able to remember the things they'd been taught, while a second control group which had not received any protein inhibiting drugs learned and internalized the new training and routines they'd been taught. A breakthrough result of these tests is that scientists were able to isolate and identify the memory creating brain chemicals.

The Process of Making and Losing Memories

Every time you remember something, your mind is practically wiring and rewiring that memory. The overall effect of this is that you change a memory anytime that you remember it. Remembering is both an act of creation and imagination. Each time we recall a memory, it ceases being stuck in the mold it was first made in, but instead, coalesces with our current thoughts and circumstances. I remember how I used to cry at night because my mother didn't treat me as well as she treated my older sister. I was a good girl, but a little iffy, a little headstrong. Perhaps I deserved to be called a little slut at 13, but today, at 43 years old, I look back a those days, and can only but smile. The memory of yesterday can be bent to fit in with the reality of today

The more we reflect on old memories, the less accurate they become! That is why time is the healer of all wounds. One year after a traumatic event, the accuracy of recall pertaining to that event drops to a whopping 37%; or what is known scientifically as Posttraumatic Amnesia. Case in point is 9/11.

If there were a special pill, specially designed in a way as to target only your bad memories, would you take it? Or would you let time heal your wounds?

The little girl and her mom are now going out of the store, I look up and see her looking at me, so I waved bye bye to her. A happy memory registered in my mind and I hoped that time will be gentle with my mental picture of the little girl, not grey it out with time.

Hello beautiful Steemian, thanks for reading this piece, it is the first of my daily series called Love and Loss. I hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more stories this. If you enjoyed it, please don't forget to follow, upvote and resteem. Thank you for reading.

With Love,

Diana.