Stop giving a damn!

'I've spent a lifetime caring what people thought of me.' No, not me – it's just a sentence I picked up from an article. It is however true for many people who spend way too much time worrying what others might think of them. How will I be judged if I show up in jeans? What would people say if I don't go to college? My whole family is waiting for me to get married.
We're second guessing ourselves trying to guess what others will think of such and such action. A few days ago, I was reading a post explaining the user's decision not to have kids and the question that came to my mind was: Why do you need to explain yourself? It's your life and you don't have to explain anything to anyone.

Any little step away from the beaten path instantly brings up the need to explain your action. By putting a rationale behind your way of life the aim is to gain acceptance. I might have deviated a bit from the norm, but I'm not a bad person after all. Here, I have reasons...
We like to say each person is unique, yet society dictates we abide by the same rules. The pressure of social conformity is far greater than we'd like to acknowledge. We like the herd, we need the herd, hence the need to explain your little deviation and be accepted in the community. Which brings us back to a lifetime spent caring what people say about you.

My Life. My Rules.

The solution is simple – Stop caring! From the small things – like wearing jeans at a wedding – to major life decisions – like abandoning your high-paying job to travel the world.
And the more you don't care, the lesser the pressure to explain yourself. As a single mother I've never felt the need to explain my life to anyone. Nobody dares to raise the subject, because I make it abundantly clear I really don't care what they think. I know some people see my life as some sort of a failure and I'm OK with that. At no time have I felt the need to explain my choices, to make anyone see the why and how, in a bid to gain their understanding and acceptance. I don't need that.
When I got my first tattoo I was confronted with arguments along this line – what will people think about you? The people on the street, presumably. Why would I care? I don't walk down the street looking down on people who don't have any tattoos – why should they look at me?

If more people adopted this 'I don't give a damn' mentality, it would spare us a lot of trouble and useless controversies. I know it is next to impossible in this butt-hurt society we live in, but still.
Imagine a fat person walking down the street with self-confidence, with that 'I don't give a damn what you think' attitude. I bet they'd have no trouble at all, unlike the self-conscious worried fat person glancing nervously around.
People with a 'kiss my fat ass' attitude are certain to have an easier life than 'weight-challenged' people. Those in the first category don't care they don't fit in the present beauty standards, while the others try to change those standards so they too can fit in.

'Not giving a damn' is a talent one can acquire as years go by. Older people care little what others think of them. Maybe it has to do with having a lot more experience, maybe it's the feeling that you have little time left, so why waste it worrying about others. Or maybe they already know who they are, they've conquered their anxieties so they're not looking for acceptance anymore.
I don't necessarily believe old age equals wisdom, but this is something younger people should learn from their elders.
You can do whatever you want with your life – if it makes you happy, the others can just go screw themselves!

Thanks for reading

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