...disappointment

I really need to work on my expectations. Just got disappointed again. What hurts is not actually knowing what's going on. Just going along with people's plans for me & never getting a single thing out of them.
I'm feeling used again. Like people just enjoy toying with me to get reactions out of me. As cliche as it sounds, the promise of the world from someone is super beautiful & lovely.
Now I'm here, sleepless & struggling again. Is it 'for' her or is she just my excuse to suffer. Does she ever give me a second thought? Am I just their backup?

Well...today's the day, for real.
NO MORE BULLSHIT.