I upvoted, but I actually think it is useful training for kids. It's a perfect demonstration of how something that everyone tells you is true is actually false; it teaches you how easily you can believe something that on the face of it is totally out of whack with everything else you know. For a few people it opens up their eyes and leads them to question more things they are taught.
Well, "encourage" may be too strong a word, but I do think it's useful for kids to learn that they can't believe everything they hear. And I also think it's useful for them to experience just how "gullible" they can be (in a safe environment), so they are prepared when they're faced with a situation where not recognizing lies can be more costly. People provide a lot of misinformation, both accidentally and intentionally, and it's an important lesson for kids to gain a certain amount of skepticism when it comes to what they are told.
Yes, especially when the lesson is about an internal weakness that none of us would like to believe about ourselves. It's easy to believe that other people can be fooled by nonsensical claims, but it's always hard to believe that we ourselves are easily duped (until it happens to you a few times).
I felt the same way exactly. When i found out my parents were lying all those years about Santa, it made me second guess everything adults said from that point on. Good for you being straight up with them. They're lucky to have you.
Thanks @luzcypher. It was certainly difficult at first, going against the social norm, especially with our families being so 'into christmas'. I am guided by the feeling in my soul. My soul/conscience is at peace telling the kids the truth, even if it causes others to judge my husband and I.
The truth will set you (and your kids) free. Never lying to your kids is a great foundation for a successful and happy family, the kids development and maturity, as well as building genuine trust within the family unit.
Rather than asking your kids to lie when asked about Santa, consider doing some role play with them so as to prepare them for the inevitable scenario. If you are going to raise them honestly they are more than likely destined to be a few steps ahead of the other kids anyway - and you are setting them up for life in a very mature, real and positive way. e.g.
If they are asked about Santa they could reply with, why do you ask, and/or what do you think? The kids will hear many different responses over a period of time so try to cover as many scenarios as you can in role-play (irrespective, the get out of jail card is always point 2 or point 3, no matter what someone says). Teach them to turn the question into a question. It's a great life skill to have and it teaches them how to listen and empathize with others which is so valuable. Do this for 30 days straight (and regularly reinforce it along the way) and they will be masters of managing social interactions for a lifetime.
Change the subject e.g. look at that butterfly, do you want to play tag, what do you think about X? etc.
After this, and if pushed and/or inclined they could simply say 'I'd rather not say' and change subject, see point 2.
That way, they haven't lied to their friends, but they haven't burst the other kids bubble and potentially gotten some parents defensive and offside either, win/win.
I believe that we should never teach our children to lie, easier said than done I know and we've most probably all done it at some stage (I am guilty), but the less of it that we encourage the better.
Truth is life. You will have a good bond with your child. Lying to kids for years for your own amusement, about Santa, Easter bunny, or tooth fairy, is all about the parent's enjoyment of having their child live in the fantasy of make belief. That's why people like fantasy beliefs, because it makes you feel good. Parents just want "good" for their child, so they lie to give them the illusion of "good". Lies are good in our confused society...
well how do you build your childs imagination and peak their curiosity?
do your kids go to school and tell the other kids santa isn't real?
Is Harry Potter banned in your home?
I like a bunch of your past posts but i'm gonna let my kids believe in those things cause i did and my friends did as we grew up we're doing good.
Growing up to realize your folks lied about a bunch stuff could help the child grow up to not take what people say for granted and fact. They will grow up second guessing life which is actually good because you can be prepared for its twists and turns.
well how do you build your childs imagination and peak their curiosity?
There are plenty of ways to do that without lying to them - get creative and keep it real I say. For example, history, geography, making things with their hands, nature and outdoors, design and travel, just to name a few.
do your kids go to school and tell the other kids santa isn't real?
Personally, I would never send my kids to school. Homeschooling is the only way go in my family. That's a personal choice but when you understand that schools primary role is to dumb down and indoctrinate children for the state we didn't have an alternative.
Is Harry Potter banned in your home?
Yes, it's witchcraft, black-magic and make-believe. I teach my kids history, geography, philosophy and all manner of other 'real' and useful information instead.
The sad reality is that most of what we believe to be true (even as adults today) is a lie - no point in adding any more of them and further confusing them IMO.
These two posts on indoctrination and education might be helpful.
I can appreciate that you may object, or even strongly disagree with some, or all of what I have said. I would however encourage you to read those posts, watch the videos and then decide. To be clear, I am not passing any judgement. As parents we all have to do what we believe is right by our children, it's a very personal choice. I am sharing this comment from a position of love and truth and I hope that you will accept it as such.
The world is not as it seems, we have been indoctrinated since birth.
I think parents should be selective in loading the child psychic with harsh truth an inappropriate age. Santa is one thing, but no need to be discussing rape, murder and other graphic subjects with a five-year-old child.
It should not be 'loaded' on to them, I agree with that. However, when your child asks you about these things what do you propose that we should say to them? Forget the age for a minute but rather focus on your reply when they ask and/or first become aware of these horrible realities.
You just have to tell them that this is not the time for us to discuss this subject and that you promise to come back to it when the time will be right.
3 year old hasn't asked about stuff like that yet. I am of the philosophy, that if they are ready to ask the question, then the are ready for the answer. When my 5 year old asked me what sex was, I told him, and he literally said ok, and went on with his day. It's funny, we, as parents, fear to answer their questions, but I have found, the answer is all they want. I have never had an uncomfortable or bad experience yet with my kids just being factual and honest. When they ask me things I don't know the answer to, (usually scientific stuff, or things about the inside of the body) I tell them I don't know, and that we need to research it. Then, we research it.
I upvoted, but I actually think it is useful training for kids. It's a perfect demonstration of how something that everyone tells you is true is actually false; it teaches you how easily you can believe something that on the face of it is totally out of whack with everything else you know. For a few people it opens up their eyes and leads them to question more things they are taught.
Are you encouraging parents to lie to their kids about Santa etc and let them learn the hard way? Have I correctly understood?
Well, "encourage" may be too strong a word, but I do think it's useful for kids to learn that they can't believe everything they hear. And I also think it's useful for them to experience just how "gullible" they can be (in a safe environment), so they are prepared when they're faced with a situation where not recognizing lies can be more costly. People provide a lot of misinformation, both accidentally and intentionally, and it's an important lesson for kids to gain a certain amount of skepticism when it comes to what they are told.
You make a great point. It's similar to letting a teenager have their first alcoholic drink at home where it's safe.
Good response, thanks for clarifying. I think that you are saying - some lessons need to be learned the hard way?
Yes, especially when the lesson is about an internal weakness that none of us would like to believe about ourselves. It's easy to believe that other people can be fooled by nonsensical claims, but it's always hard to believe that we ourselves are easily duped (until it happens to you a few times).
Interesting take on it...
I felt the same way exactly. When i found out my parents were lying all those years about Santa, it made me second guess everything adults said from that point on. Good for you being straight up with them. They're lucky to have you.
Thanks @luzcypher. It was certainly difficult at first, going against the social norm, especially with our families being so 'into christmas'. I am guided by the feeling in my soul. My soul/conscience is at peace telling the kids the truth, even if it causes others to judge my husband and I.
The truth will set you (and your kids) free. Never lying to your kids is a great foundation for a successful and happy family, the kids development and maturity, as well as building genuine trust within the family unit.
Rather than asking your kids to lie when asked about Santa, consider doing some role play with them so as to prepare them for the inevitable scenario. If you are going to raise them honestly they are more than likely destined to be a few steps ahead of the other kids anyway - and you are setting them up for life in a very mature, real and positive way. e.g.
That way, they haven't lied to their friends, but they haven't burst the other kids bubble and potentially gotten some parents defensive and offside either, win/win.
I believe that we should never teach our children to lie, easier said than done I know and we've most probably all done it at some stage (I am guilty), but the less of it that we encourage the better.
That is really really excellent advice @steemtruth! Thank you, I will be proposing this to the two youngest today!
Awesome, I'm keen to hear of your experiences when you're ready.
Peace and all the best.
Truth is life. You will have a good bond with your child. Lying to kids for years for your own amusement, about Santa, Easter bunny, or tooth fairy, is all about the parent's enjoyment of having their child live in the fantasy of make belief. That's why people like fantasy beliefs, because it makes you feel good. Parents just want "good" for their child, so they lie to give them the illusion of "good". Lies are good in our confused society...
Thank you so much @krnel ... how did I know you would Get It! :) :) Because you use reason and logic.
well how do you build your childs imagination and peak their curiosity?
do your kids go to school and tell the other kids santa isn't real?
Is Harry Potter banned in your home?
I like a bunch of your past posts but i'm gonna let my kids believe in those things cause i did and my friends did as we grew up we're doing good.
Growing up to realize your folks lied about a bunch stuff could help the child grow up to not take what people say for granted and fact. They will grow up second guessing life which is actually good because you can be prepared for its twists and turns.
There are plenty of ways to do that without lying to them - get creative and keep it real I say. For example, history, geography, making things with their hands, nature and outdoors, design and travel, just to name a few.
Personally, I would never send my kids to school. Homeschooling is the only way go in my family. That's a personal choice but when you understand that schools primary role is to dumb down and indoctrinate children for the state we didn't have an alternative.
Yes, it's witchcraft, black-magic and make-believe. I teach my kids history, geography, philosophy and all manner of other 'real' and useful information instead.
The sad reality is that most of what we believe to be true (even as adults today) is a lie - no point in adding any more of them and further confusing them IMO.
These two posts on indoctrination and education might be helpful.
I can appreciate that you may object, or even strongly disagree with some, or all of what I have said. I would however encourage you to read those posts, watch the videos and then decide. To be clear, I am not passing any judgement. As parents we all have to do what we believe is right by our children, it's a very personal choice. I am sharing this comment from a position of love and truth and I hope that you will accept it as such.
The world is not as it seems, we have been indoctrinated since birth.
Thanks. I really was wondering about lyndsay opinion.
Just curious, what is the truth you tell about Santa?
That it is parents.
I think parents should be selective in loading the child psychic with harsh truth an inappropriate age. Santa is one thing, but no need to be discussing rape, murder and other graphic subjects with a five-year-old child.
It should not be 'loaded' on to them, I agree with that. However, when your child asks you about these things what do you propose that we should say to them? Forget the age for a minute but rather focus on your reply when they ask and/or first become aware of these horrible realities.
What does a parent do? Tell the truth or lie?
You just have to tell them that this is not the time for us to discuss this subject and that you promise to come back to it when the time will be right.
3 year old hasn't asked about stuff like that yet. I am of the philosophy, that if they are ready to ask the question, then the are ready for the answer. When my 5 year old asked me what sex was, I told him, and he literally said ok, and went on with his day. It's funny, we, as parents, fear to answer their questions, but I have found, the answer is all they want. I have never had an uncomfortable or bad experience yet with my kids just being factual and honest. When they ask me things I don't know the answer to, (usually scientific stuff, or things about the inside of the body) I tell them I don't know, and that we need to research it. Then, we research it.