I do not understand spoken English, but it is enough with what you have written to understand how you feel.

I am so sorry for this that it has happened to you.

Let me tell you that my heart is with you, my maternal instinct would like to embrace you and transmit all the love to you.
I pray that you will find the way to alleviate this pain and move on with your life. You are wonderful, try to think about the good things,
Please, do not stay alone, seek professional help.
I love you