*Celebrating International Women's Day on Steemit : A Conversation with Ilyas Tarar on Core Issues Surrounding Women & Feminism*

Hi Steemians,

International Women's Day comes and goes every year. So much happens around the world and most of it is done by women. This year, a small group of Steemians celebrated this coveted day in a different way; by involving men in the discussion around women. There is an interesting contest which was arranged by @funmiakinkpelu. It required each participant to pick a partner from the opposite sex and talk about women. It is called Pick a Partner or PaP contest.

I chose @ilyastarar who, other than being a great source of Steemit related guides, happens to be Steemit crush as well. This post is my, rather our, entry to the contest.

The Conversation

Ilyas Tarar: Hello lady
Marvyblessed: Hi dear
Ilyas Tarar: I'm fine. How do you do?
Marvyblessed: How do you do too? I'm great.
Ilyas Tarar: Yes you are (and you have a great pair).
Ilyas Tarar: Anyway, what's up?
Marvyblessed: Nothing much dear. Just been having series of tests. Btw,I nominated you for a contest oh. Funmi's PAP contest. Here's the link.
https://steemit.com/contest/@funmiakinpelu/international-women-s-day-contest-pick-a-partner-pap

It's called THE WOMEN'S DAY CONTEST : PICK A PARTNER*. Have a look at it.
Ilyas Tarar: I have looked at it. Read the questions. I'll answer tomorrow because it's late here already.
Marvyblessed:It's ok. Goodnight dear.

The next day

Ilyas Tarar: Morning
Marvyblessed: Morning too😉
Ilyas Tarar: How are you?
Marvyblessed: Hope you have eaten
Ilyas Tarar: Yeah
Marvyblessed: What? Having bread and groundnuts now. 🍞Take yours.
Ilyas Tarar:Thanks.You are such a sweet girl.
Marvyblessed: Thank you,lol,you sound like you've tasted me. Am I food?😉
Ilyas Tarar: I would like to taste
Marvyblessed: 😂😂😂😂 please oh,I ain't edible though,but i think i'm lovable
Ilyas Tarar: Not edible of course,and taste doesn't have to come from eating alone
Marvyblessed: True oh wise one. So, what ways are you reffering to?
Ilyas Tarar: Naughty one at the moment, ways for what?
Marvyblessed: I meant ways to taste other than eating.
Ilyas Tarar: We can drink and suck and lick haha
Marvyblessed: Lol, My questions pls
Ilyas Tarar: Looking at them,will send replies soon.

My Questions, His Answers

We both started working on the questions given in the post first. I shared my questions and he answered them. Read and give your feedback. It would be interesting to know what you think about them.

On Abuse of Women

Question : As ladies, no doubt, we have been made to go through the worst experiences in the hands of men - Battery, single mothering, rape, sexual molestation by uncles and cousins and househelps. No matter what we say about how men also get these treatments, the truth is females are mostly affected. Being a guy, can you explain why you think these things happen? Simply put, why do men abuse women? And then, knowing the problems what do you think can be done?

Answer : I totally agree that females have gone through terrible atrocities at the hands of men. It does not seem to be stopping any time soon. It needs to stop. While males have been victims too, women have faced more difficulties.

As a guy, I think these things happen due to a lot of factors specific to the regions and cultures. I think the way parents treat their children matters a lot. Gender based biased treatment within family causes a lot of evils, mainly the lack of confidence in neglected ones and a feeling of superiority in the privileged ones. I have observed females to be neglected ones in most cases.

Another common reason is the lack of sexual education and outlet. Most males and females hardly get proper guidance about their sexual abilities and responsibilities. Their sources of information are internet or friends. Also, these sexual needs require to be satisfied, and if there is no feasible way to do it, it is directed at weak people around us. A reason why religions encourage reasonably early marriages is that it provides a foundation to build a family as well as a legalized outlet for sexual gratification.

I think what we can do is to treat and groom our children well. Upon reaching puberty, and even before that, they must be guided about sexual abuses and proper sexual behavior. Being in a healthy relationship is great for emotional and psychological needs of people so it can prevent a lot of frustration and undesired behavior. Marriage and family life gives us focus and a desire to build a better life. I think we should encourage these solutions to prevent abuses.

On Women Abandoning Marriage & Family

Question : You know how women are parading themselves around, talking about how they should have equal rights with men. How they should be able to work, eat, talk and behave like men. Now, most of these women abandon marriage and family hood for their careers. What do you really think about this? Is this the way forward?

Answer : I think the reasons behind their voices are really justified and they have every right to fight for justice. Abandoning marriage and family life is what is another extreme. I think it is not the way forward. Getting out of one trouble just to get into another one isn't wise in my opinion.

On Feminine Beauty

Question : What turns you on and what turns you off in a woman? By extension, what is your own idea of feminine beauty? Fatness, tallness, business, shortness. Talk am.

Answer : Beauty comes in all sizes and shapes. All women are beautiful. I have found myself liking all kinds of girls and women for various aspects of their persona or being. I think I have tad preference for curvy physique but it does not mean that I don't like the skinny ones. I would say that intelligence and composure attract me. Educated, smart women can make the world a better place with their wise ways.

My Random Questions

It was my turn to ask the random questions. These two are outside the pet questions given in the contest post. These could be anything. Here's what I asked though.

Me: Are you married?
Him: No, I am not married.

Me: If we were locked up in a room together. What would you do?
Him: Interesting situation. Provided that we are locked up for some time, we will definitely start talking to spend our time. After some duration, my mind will start wondering and I'll look for signs. If there is a response from your side, something naughty might happen. Whatever happens will most probably be less than an intercourse because of my personal limitations.

His Questions My Answers

It was his turn to ask me questions. There were five in total like the ones above I asked him. Three were from the post and two were asked by him. Let's see.

On Getting Loved by Women

Question : Everybody knows the stomach is the way to a man's heart ♥. But we rarely know what the way is to a woman's heart. So, can you tell me what the way to a woman's heart is? How can I make a woman love me more?

Answer : Ok,the way to a man's heart is his stomach and the way to a woman's heart is her head. I feel women are people that love attention and at the same time hate people that are overbearing. Give her all the attention she needs,give her gifts, give her your listening ears,shower her with love and also know when to give her space. And you are good to go.

I also feel you can get into her head and be the one person she will fall back to if you make her feel she's all you want. Make your woman feel she's just enough for you and all you want and she's yours.

PS: Ilyas texted after the answer, "So simple." I'm not sure if he was serious or sarcastic. 😀

On Feminism

Questions You ladies keep talking about feminism and women rights and all that kind of thing. But I am confused here. What exactly is feminism and do men have a role to play in it?

Answer : Feminism believes that all humans should be given equal rights and priviledges irrespective of thier gender. Feminism is saying, because we are women doesn't mean we are less human.Men have a role to play because they have to give women the chance too.

One Thing I Will Reduce in Men?

Question : What one thing would you really want to change about a man if you had your way? Just one thing.

Answer : I think one thing I would change if I had my way is men's pride. The pride that makes them refuse to accept or apologise when they are wrong. The pride that makes them always want to have things done thier way. You can call it ego or rigidity. Yes, that's what I would reduce.

His Random Questions

Then Ilyas shared his own questions. Considering we are celebrating women, these questions were really well directed at women.

Him: As a young lady, what would you like to change in your society which can improve life of all females?
Me: I would like to incoporate women in more leadership positions.I would also love to correct the mentality that rushes women into marriage. Sometimes it interrupts thier dreams and they make the wrong choices.

Him: In your opinion, what type of relationship, and what level of it, should be bare minimum for women to be intimate with a person and consent an intercourse?
Me: I am a Christian, so I'll be blunt on this.I feel no level of intimacy in relationship permits intercourse until marriage. However,things happen, people make mistakes so there are sometimes one may feel he or she is so in love that they consent to sex.

So steemians,this is my entry for the contest.
Feel free to still participate,entry closes tomorrow.
Thankyou @funmiakinkpelu and all the sponsors and organisers of this contest.
Thankyou @ilyastarar for being my partner.
And,thanks to y'all for your time 😊.