Thursdays With Uncle Boom #80

Continued from last week...

Uncle Boom callously murders a dog and its owner in the local park. A witness steps forward from the shadows. Uncle Boom readies himself to despatch the witness also but halts as he recognises him.

And how could he not? For it is his own self. Older but still the very same man that stares back at him from the mirror each morning...

By the Devil's hairy tits. It's you! Or rather, it's me? Old me, that is.

I exclaimed with delight.

Less of the fucking old, you impudent young scamp.

Said the older version of me somewhat testily.

I laughed and cocked my head to the side as I studied Old-Boom. It was remarkable, he was definitely me. Definitely older, a few more lines on his exceptionally handsome face. They only made him(me?) more distinguished than I had thought possible.

I liked it.

I made to move closer and shake my own hand but stopped with a jerk.

When I had traveled into the past, using Dobbers time traveling contrivance, to meet my younger self and guide him. Young-Boom had been equally as pleased to see me as I had been a moment ago when faced with Old Boom.

The memory of how I had set Young-Boom on the right path gave me pause.

I made sure to leave a good cane distance between us

Whilst it is no doubt a pleasure to make your acquaintance, one must wonder... What brings you here?

I asked, firmly, suspiciously even, as though I was jamming a limequat into an enemy's dark snarler.

Old-Boom beckoned to the chair behind him.

Come, young fellow. Let us not be wary of each other. We fully know what each is capable of, don't we? Come, sit. We have things we must discuss.

He smiled again, that wolven grin.

I suppressed a shudder. Oh yes. I knew what I was capable of but as I looked deep into Old-Boom's storm-blue eyes, I was struck with the conviction that he was capable of much, much more than I.

Fuck it.

I moved to the bench and sat, crossing my legs at the ankle quite casually.

Spit it out then, oldie? What you here for?

The best form of defense is always attack, I have found.

He sat beside me and pulled out his pipe. He took a puff and an enchanting scent filled the air, it reminded me of lady-margarine and peat.

Care for some?

He offered.

I accepted and soon we were puffing amicably together.

You filched a TimePiece from Dobbers recently, hmm?

I frowned. Filched was such a slovenly term, like I were a peon poking my fingers into a crevice to steal a pie.

Such a device may have fallen into my hands, yes.

I responded tentatively.

Old-Boom rolled his eyes to the heavens.

You will have to pass it on. There is someone who will find it much more useful than you.

I scowled as ifOld-Boom were a lady with unshaven legs.

I am afraid I will have to refuse. That device is somewhat invaluable to me.

Old-Boom barked out a phlegmy laugh.

Well you wouldn't be giving it away to just anybody now, would you? I can think of someone much younger than you that might benefit from owning it. Someone perhaps quite close to both our respective hearts?...

I cursed inwardly.

Of course, it was obvious now. He meant the young me. Ah, now that really was a splendid idea.

Ok, I shall pass on the TimePiece. Surely that's not it though? You traveled how many years back just for that?

Old-Boom chuckled like a hen sitting on a golf ball in the bright sun.

Oh no, that was not all. Come closer?

He beckoned me closer to him. The bench we sat on was still in shade from the rising dawn sun and in the dark, his awful smile gleamed with malice.

Nonetheless, I leant in. Old-Boom cupped a hand and whispered in my ear.

Some minutes later, I jerked back and stared at him incredulously.

Are you absolutely sure?

Oh yes, young man. I am absolutely sure. How could I not be, after all I survived it, didn't I?

Old-Boom leapt to his feet with a surprising agility and stretched his arms out to the sides.

He shook his head fondly at me and waggled an admonishing finger.

And you can put your little knife away now. This man is not for the killing.

I tucked my wicked little knife Mathilda back into my inside pocket with a rueful grimace.

Oops, how did you know?

Old-Boom laughed again.

I'm you, you idiot! That's how. Anyway, time marches on, I must be away. Remember what I said now.

He turned and started walking away.

I shook my head, thinking on what he had whispered to me. It didn't make sense.

Wait! If that is what is going to happen and I can only survive because you told me what to do... Then how did you survive?

Old-Boom paused mid-stride and turned.

Oh Boomy, surely you should know better than anyone?...