Pandemictionary: An urbane dictionary of pandemic-inspired words and phrases
Pandemictionary
An urbane dictionary of pandemic-inspired words and phrases
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
Webster, wikipedia and the online urban dictionary can't keep up with our lockdown lingo. Not to worry, I'll be editing this handy pandemictionary hourly - it's not as though I can fall asleep while the world is ending. Be sure to bookmark it and refer to this handy-dandy guide when you can't understand what someone is muttering underneath their mask or shouting in a Zoom session. I've got you covered!
PANDEMICTIONARY VERSION 2.0
pandamnesia: quarantine-induced forgetfulness; inability to remember what happened yesterday or what day of the week it is.
"Due to pandemnesia, Randall forgot his own birthday."
face streaker: a person running purposelessly and erratically through public spaces with a naked face.
"Eye witness accounts of face streakers are increasing as mental health deteriorates."
zoomwear: attire worn during online meetings; business casual on top, pajamas - or less - on bottom.
"Zoomwear is the latest fashion trend as online clothing sales soar."
covidtini: whatever type of liquor you have left in the house, shaken not stirred, served in a sippy cup.
"Darling, hide my covidtini! Quickly please, before the toddler mistakes it for milk."
pandamnation: the feeling of being stuck in hell because the pandemic has ruined or cancelled all your plans.
"The pervasive feeling of pandmanation is taking a toll on her mental health."
mashkion: mask fashion; coordinating masks with the rest of your outfit.
"Does this mask go with these shoes? I have no sense of mashkion."
yesterdayorthedaybefore: any day in the past two weeks; it's as precise as you can get when recounting something you vaguely remember happening somewhat recently.
"I bought a bottle of rum yesterdayorthedaybefore and it's already empty."
zloompers: Zoom bloopers; funny and embarrassing moments when someone's body parts are accidentally exposed during an online meeting.
"A hilarious zloomper derailed the finance meeting when my co-worker's partner walked by in the buff."
facial recognition avoidance: pretending not to recognize someone 'because of their mask.'
"Facial recognition avoidance is a convenient way to avoid chatty neighbors or ex-lovers at the grocery store."
bathbunker: the only room in your house with a locking door; a hideout to escape people you're quarantined with and a place to stash snacks and alcohol.
"Winifred hurried to the bathbunker in search of licorice and something to make a covidtini with before the children started banging on the door."
maskne: acne and other unpleasant skin conditions caused by wearing masks; most common in essential workers.
"His maskne is out of control and although it's ironic, he's glad the mask hides his zits while he's working."
covidiots: persons not taking the Covid-19 pandemic seriously. See also: conspiracy theorists.
"A crowd of maskless covidiots protested outside the state capital building because they couldn't get their favorite french fries."
anti-maskers: persons who refuse to wear masks or actively speak out against mask effectiveness. See also: covidiots.
"Similar to anti-vaxers, anti-maskers have little concern for the health of people they and their children may encounter in public."
quaranteam: your core group of friends and family who are trying to stay as safe as you are; your go-to team for safe social distancing, spare toilet paper and sanity checks.
"Due to vulnerable health he relied on his quaranteam to deliver food and keep him sane by socializing and making liquor store runs."
Stay tuned for additional pandemictionary entries as this crisis is neverending.
Originally published on my Medium blog @ Rachael Ann Sand