My Love is Unspecified

Dusk greeted, beautiful Mentari soon vanished from his bed. Afternoon seemed to change the star-studded night. With the moonlight that captivates the love that unites human beings according to God's command.

Love knows what it is, if I ask my parents, he casually replied. "It's not time yet dear, if love comes already you will also know," that's my parents' answer if i ask about love to them. Their most important word now is to learn to pursue a dream. But the more I ignore the love, the heart is getting wriggled when I look at someone who smile seductive heart. As this heart screams so loudly that this love has been present in my heart for the man's reply.

I watched almost every day. Every day I see him through my mausoleum window chanting the Divine kalam to he memorized the Al-qur'an as thick as that. Unfortunately myself can not like him, I can only imagine to feel how to live in the pesantren. My wish was denied by my parents, because I was all that impossible. My weak and often sickly condition became the reason why I was not allowed to live in pesantren.

"Hayo .. again seein what ..?" Mother broke my mind. "Ah mother, do not see anything." I replied confused. "The truth ..?" Teased the mother. "Yeah bu .." yakinku to mother. "Come on, close the window, not good girls see santri son." Mother's command then I closed my bedroom window tightly.

"Father, Mother, Nida left for school." I asked my parents. "Why do not you have breakfast?" My mother asked. "Not hungry bu." I replied nonchalantly. "Ntar sick lho .." father tried to persuade me. "Insyaallah gak Well, Assalamu'alaikum." My compliments while kissing my parents' hands. "Wa'alaikum salam" answered my parents.

I walked out to school. Just arrived at the crossroads I met him. With someone I always worship. Oh really happy day. A few minutes later I arrived at school. "Hey buddy, how are you?" Said Alin to me. "Loch style, ana bi khoir." I replied. "Hey buddy." Sapa Dawn and Sharif when meeting me and Alin. "Hey also buddy." I replied in unison with Alin.
We are friends since I was in junior high school, they are perfect friends in my eyes.
"Al, today I'm happy dech." I say start vent today. "Why emang?" Alin asked curiously. "She smiled sweetly at me." I said, laughing merrily. "Who is he ..?" He asked again. "There is dech .." I replied spoiled. "Sure .. santri boy is not it?" Guess Alin. "He'em, I just met him." "Then how ..."
I was interrupted when Mr. Najib came to class. And KBM began.

It did not feel like forty minutes had passed, the bell rang loudly, as if this spirit reappeared to go home and see Yasin sitting on the porch. But that desire vanished, when my best friend took me to buy a book at Al-Barokah store.

"Nin .. let's go along ..!" Alin flirt. "No, I want to go home." I refused. "Sure? Ntar nyesel loh ..! "Added Dawn. Finally I went with my best friend to go to the bookstore.

"Would you like to buy a book?" I guess it sounds familiar to my ears. "Nin, here!" Sharif called surprisingly. "What's the Rif?" I asked a little embarrassed. "Kenalin, this is my friend from Madrasah Salafiyah." Syarif's words introduced Yasin to me as well as Alin, who actually knew me. "Oh, Madrasahs that are close to our Madrasahs are they?" I chirped. "Yeah, you are his daughter Mr. Ahmad right? Which house is near my Pesantren. "Yasin asked me. "Yeah, how do you know?" "You know, you often watch the santri child through your window?" Yasin said embarrassed me. "Cook me, make up for you." I said to cover up the embarrassment.

Soon after, it was already a picky book and only Sharif finally took the book, it was just one. After that, we go home. Her beautiful shadow has now vanished, hoping the opportunity will bring me back to her again.

Several months passed, I, Alin Nabila, Fajar Septiawan and Wahifdhon Syarif had officially graduated from Madrasah. Alin continued his studies at East Java pesantren, while Fajar and Syarif continued their studies at one of the universities in Jakarta. In contrast to me, all my wishes vanished, I just went to study at one of the universities in my place. And my wish was like Alin.

Now my days live alone without smiling my friends anymore. My spirit is Yasin's always cheerful life with his distinctive smile. "O God .. why do you give love like this, love is difficult for me to live, even difficult also spoken." My inner crying, when I realized how the love that grows in the depths of my heart and do not realize who I love, why i can love him. I spend my days with meditation. Every night I serve as a comforting entertainer. The moon and the stars become the ornate decorations of a lonely heart. Mentari morning gave me the spirit that I can always in living this life scenario.
"Nida dear ..." my mother quietly from behind. "Mother to make a surprise." I replied while closing the window of my room. "Mommy can ask something?" Said Mother started the conversation. "May I ask you what?" "Have you found love?" This question got me confused, what should I answer? Beloved I never had. I was too long to daydream. "Nin .. is it there? Let's tell Mom. "Mom startled me. "Not yet .." I replied deceiving my mother. "I do not believe you."
Tok tok tok ..
The sound of a knock on the door broke off my conversation with Mother. I hurried to open the door, and it turned out to be the postman.
"Good afternoon, is this really his home sister Azizun Nida?" While reading the address on the cover of the letter. "Yes sir, is there a letter?" I wish my friends there sent me a letter. "Yeah ya, this is a letter from sister Ali Nabila sister." Then handed me the letter. "Thank you sir."
I can not wait to read it. It turned out that Alin did not forget me, it's been four years since I met her. I think I miss her so much.

For my friend,
Azizun Nida
Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullah
Buddy, along with the blowing wind, a letter has come to replace myself that was always there beside you. Friend, I miss you very much, also with Dawn and Sharif. Through this piece of paper, I want to share happiness with you. Perhaps you never thought that I would soon belong to one of the santri from Ma'rifatul Ulum pesantren, Muhammad Yasin, I am very happy to get someone who is a religious expert. Buddy soon we will meet again, because I will carry out the Sunnah of the Apostle at the pesantren.
That's a buddy ..
Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullah
Greetings miss your pal,
Alin Nabila.

Instantly, the letter from Alin slipped from my grasp, suddenly my body began to weaken, my tears began to appear on my cheeks, then I was so shocked that I did not realize that I was lying weak helpless with the help of breathing apparatus.

"Buddy .." his grip was warm in my hand, I also slowly opened my eyes. And it turns out to be very sad, Alin visited me with Yasin, I feel like I'm angry, but it's impossible, wrong if I'm angry, I should realize that I'm not worthy of Yasin.
Today the yellow leaf has been stuck in the Ma'rifatul Ulum pesantren yard. While I was still weak to have to sit in a wheelchair. With tears I watched the people who were busy preparing for their marriage. "Now you realize that the one you love is Yasin Sayang .." while wiping my tears, mom tries to understand my feelings. I just remain silent and cry until the mother can not see myself fragile love this. From the distance they looked very happy, a smile emanating from the face of my best friend Alin and Yasin, I kept my tears from being seen by them, but still dripped every time I deleted them.

"Good friend, may you always happy." I unconsciously shed tears. "Thanks Buddy .. why are you crying?" Alin tried to make sure of my situation. "Maybe my son is too happy because you are happy too Alin." While pushing my chair toward Yasin mother smiling at Alin. "Yasin, happy yeah happy." "Thank you Nin .." with his typical smile he replied to me.

Really powerless me, feel not sincere, but this is my love. I was wrong, did not dare to reveal that I loved Yasin. I find it inappropriate to reveal if I love her, because I'm a woman. I always hoped and waited if he would love me, my writing was silent, my writing dare not speak, only a heart that can rebel and feel sincere that this love is not for me, but for my best friend. Now my love is just a dream, hoping this love is like a shining star, a charming rainbow and a happy smiling moon. But alas, my true love is like a strong wind that knocks down a pole, like a heavy rain and a lightning bolt, just because it is not spoken.
MY FANS
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‌and I really am sorry for mentioning your names here, but I really want to be like you, and to all the steemians, hopefully we can succeed like them. greetings from me for all steemian colleagues, and to all the friends I have mentioned here, my honor @mizi23 ..